893: When Good Intentions Aren’t Enough
“Good intentions don’t change anything. They just become a deeper and deeper rut.” —Joyce Meyer
You want things to change in your marriage… But without taking action, nothing will.
Almost every couple experiences this gap between intention and action.
Maybe you want to have more meaningful conversations, try a kissing challenge, or be transparent about your spending. Perhaps you desire more date nights, to pray together, or have more regular sexual intimacy.
These are all great intentions. But then life happens. Work stress, parents’ declining health, kids’ busy schedules, exhaustion…
Having good intentions for your marriage is only step one.
Without a system and the action to make it happen, you’ll find yourself repeating those intentions over and over again.
Before you attempt to make lasting changes in your marriage, you have to be honest about three things:
- Do you have the emotional bandwidth right now? If you’re in survival mode, you need to address that first if you want to actually reach your goals.
- Are you ready to do what it takes to make a change? It won’t be easy, so you need to be prepared for hard conversations and inevitable obstacles.
- Do you have a solid foundation? Before trying to have more sex or go on more date nights, consider whether you’ve built enough emotional intimacy to have these conversations.
When it comes to going beyond good intentions to actually taking action in your marriage, consistency is your best friend.
Keep these three truths in mind:
Small beats impressive. Instead of trying to plan big gestures, focus on smaller, easier actions. For example, have five minutes of intentional connection a day or check in with each other before falling asleep.
Safe beats spontaneous. Your intimacy grows best when you and your spouse are consistent, predictable, and attuned to each other.
Sustainable beats seasonal. When thinking about implementing changes, be honest about what you can continue to do even on hard days or when life feels full.
Think about one pillar you can focus on for the next 30-90 days. Which one would make the greatest impact on your marriage? Then, take these insights into consideration as you plan to take action, not just have intentions.
Resources
Connect with Us
Join the ONE Family private Facebook group to share your story and connect with other couples who are creating extraordinary marriages. To reach us on the Hug Hotline, call or text 858-876-5663 or email hugs@oneextraordinarymarriage.com.
Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, we will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, we only recommend products or services we use personally and believe will add value to our readers. We are disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”
Medical Disclaimer: The content of this article & website is provided for general informational purposes only and is not intended as, nor should it be considered a substitute for, professional medical advice. Do not use the information on this website for diagnosing or treating any medical or health condition. If you have or suspect you have a medical problem, promptly contact your professional healthcare provider.