899: Oooh That Underwear Drawer

“In relationships the little things are the big things.” —Stephen Covey

Want more fun, novelty, and flirtation in your marriage? Maybe it’s time to look at your underwear drawer!

Oftentimes, what’s in the drawer plays out in the marriage.

Is your underwear routine, boring, and in need of an upgrade? Or is it fun, flirty, and intentional?

The majority of the ONE Family (69%) has practical or boring underwear. Another 17% said theirs needs an upgrade.

Your underwear drawer tells a story you might not want to say out loud: It’s easy for marriage to become efficient instead of intentional.

Most of us start out buying fun, flirty things to feel attractive for our spouse. But as life gets full, the underwear drawer quietly reflects what we stop doing:

• We stop trying new things
• We stop buying for us
• We settle into comfort
• We forget that novelty brings anticipation to sexual intimacy

When you choose something new and fun, it signals you’re still showing up for your spouse. And a new pair of underwear is a small, simple, low-cost way to be fun and flirty.

Think about it: How long has it been since you bought underwear that made you feel confident, attractive, or sexy?

For most couples in the ONE Family, it’s been months, if not years.

You might think comfortable, practical underwear is all that matters. But the spark matters too.

Your marriage needs playfulness and intentionality as much as it needs routines and comfort.

For some of you, this topic might feel superficial. But look at it through The 6 Pillars of Intimacy®: Emotionally, the conversation brings you closer. Physically, you can find pairs that feel good. Financially, you set a budget. Recreationally, you shop together. And sexually, your underwear plays a role in desire, anticipation, and romance.

This doesn’t mean you have to wear materials that aren’t comfortable or looks you don’t like. Instead, it’s about bringing intentionality into this area that’s just for you and your spouse.

So this week, open your underwear drawer and ask yourself:

• Does this reflect comfort only?
• Is anything in here intentional?
• Does anything in here make me feel attractive or confident?

Then, add one thing that feels like “effort.”

You don’t need a shopping spree or complete overhaul. Just find one item that makes you feel good and feels more intentional than your everyday underwear.

Have a fun conversation about what actually matters to each of you:

• “What do you like?”
• “What makes you feel attracted or desired?”
• “What feels fun or playful to you?”

You might be surprised how different your answers are.

And remember, this is about being intentional to keep the spark alive. Sometimes, that starts with something as simple as what’s in the underwear drawer.

Resources

Sexy Clothes for Him and for Her
Join Intimacy Mastery Today
Apply for Coaching With Alisa

Connect with Us Join the ONE Family private Facebook group to share your story and connect with other couples who are creating extraordinary marriages. To reach us on the Hug Hotline, call or text 858-876-5663 or email hugs@oneextraordinarymarriage.com.