Has foreplay become an afterthought for you and your spouse? The actions you take leading up to sexual intercourse are crucial for maintaining a strong Sexual Intimacy Pillar. Of course, it can be hard to constantly come up with fresh and fun foreplay ideas over the years.


We’ve compiled some of the top foreplay ideas that you can easily incorporate into your routines to spice things up. Some ideas include sexy toys or resources, but most can be done with just you and your spouse.

These simple forelay ideas can help increase desire and enhance your sexual encounters. Plus, as you share these ideas with your spouse, you might discover even more new ways to connect sexually during foreplay.

Tip: Remember, you may need to try a new foreplay idea more than once to get the hang of it. It will take a little time to learn what works best for you. So if something doesn’t work right away, don’t give up on it! 

What is Sexual Intimacy?

Despite what many people believe, sexual intimacy is about more than just intercourse. Sexual intimacy encompasses everything about your sexual connection with your spouse, including romance, initiation, foreplay, and, yes, intercourse. 

Romance is a broad category that can include prioritizing your spouse in your schedule, sending love messages, helping with daily tasks, or pursuing your spouse physically. These actions can create a closeness that leads to meaningful sexual connection. 

Initiation is the verbal or nonverbal things you do to kick-start sexual activities with your spouse. You can initiate with a seductive touch or a knowing glance. You can even pose the straightforward question: “Do you want to have sex?” 

Romance and initiation set the scene for sex, and intercourse is typically considered the “big finale.” 

Somewhere along the way, though, foreplay gets forgotten. 

Why Foreplay Matters

In general, any words or actions that create arousal before sex can count as foreplay. But engaging in specific foreplay prior to intercourse has a multitude of benefits. 

Foreplay prepares your mind and body so that you and your spouse can be fully present with each other. 

For men, foreplay can lead to a firmer erection and increased excitement. For women, foreplay provides the vagina time to expand and self-lubricate, leading to more comfortable and pleasurable penetration for both husband and wife.  

How to Communicate Foreplay Ideas to Your Spouse

Since 97% of you in the ONE Family say that foreplay makes a difference, it’s essential to communicate your foreplay expectations with your spouse. These conversations not only lead to greater sexual experiences but also strengthen your emotional intimacy. 

If you have concerns about foreplay, be open with your spouse about these feelings.

Some people struggle with feeling self-conscious about their body during foreplay. A fear among some men is premature ejaculation. Whatever concerns keep you from enjoying foreplay, discuss them with your spouse. 

Make sure you communicate your foreplay desires at the proper time.

Ideally, you should talk with your spouse outside the bedroom about introducing (or reintroducing) certain activities into foreplay. This isn’t a conversation to have as you’re jumping into bed together. Expressing your ideas and preferences in advance gives you and your spouse time to prepare. 

9 Sexy Foreplay Ideas to Try

Many couples experience seasons in their marriage when sexual intimacy becomes routine and predictable. Knowing what to expect during foreplay has its benefits: you may feel more comfortable and confident when you know your spouse likes what you are doing. 

But trying something new can increase your arousal as you experience heightened anticipation. This thrill and excitement can rival even your newlywed days.  

With so many options for foreplay, you and your spouse can explore which activities work best for you. Consider the nine prompts below to spice up your foreplay: 

  1. Take turns undressing each other
  2. Incorporate silk ties or blindfolds 
  3. Have a full-on make-out session
  4. Rub or massage parts of your spouse’s body
  5. Glide ice over your spouse’s skin  
  6. Give and receive oral sex
  7. Talk dirty to your spouse 
  8. Raise the stakes with a sexy board game
  9. Get steamy in the shower together 

Keep in mind that foreplay can even be the main event. It doesn’t always have to lead to intercourse.

In fact, engaging in foreplay until just before completion can build sexual tension between you and your spouse and keep you both wanting more. 

The Bigger Picture

Foreplay is a key part of sexual intimacy, and sexual intimacy is a key part of your marriage. So don’t discount foreplay. 

Add a spark to your sex life by asking your spouse if foreplay matters to them (spoiler alert: it probably does). Then explore your foreplay in a new light as a couple. A little extra focus on foreplay can take your sexual intimacy to the next level.

And if you’re looking for products to boost your sexual connect, check out these sexy adult items that can enhance your foreplay.

Watch the video below to rekindle the spark and restore the connection in your marriage today!

In the 6 Pillars of Intimacy®, you will discover secrets that have transformed countless marriages. Its ideas are simple, practical, and powerful. You’ll be inspired to look at your marriage through a new lens and be encouraged by its commonsense approach.

Alisa and Tony DiLorenzo's proven approach to building intimacy in marriage will help you experience deeper and richer levels of intimacy with your spouse – starting today. Click HERE to get your copy today!

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