“You are a thousand miles away and yet no one is closer to my heart than you are.” —Anonymous

long distance couple hugging

There will be times when, as a married couple you may have distance between you. Being the spouse of a serviceman or service woman is a reality for many people. It’s also a tricky season to manage in your marriage. How do you stay connected when you are so far apart?

If you are the spouse of someone who is deployed or will deploy, here are a few ways to lessen the distance and build a strong marriage even if you are apart. Here are 9 ways to stay connected when you are long distance.

Read or Listen Together

Select a book or podcast that you will listen to or read and then discuss it the next time you talk. Make a pact that you won’t go on to the next chapter until you get to recap the last with your spouse. 

Write Love Letters

Taking a few minutes to write some love letters for different times that may occur during deployment such as “our first holiday apart” or “the first time you can’t sleep”. 


Keep an Online Journal

Keeping an online journal that you each can access at anytime is a great way to stay connected. If you feel that having one online might not be accessible, keep a physical journal and then mail it to each other once every 6 weeks. 

Hide Small things Around the House

If you are being deployed consider hiding things around the house before you leave. Once you are gone then give clues to where they are for a fun game together. You can also give multiple hints for multiple hidden surprises!

Create Deployment Dares

Before leaving create a list of weekly or monthly things that you will each Dare each other to do. Then report back if the Dare was completed. If not, then add what you’ll do to rectify the failed Dare together. Plus it might be fun to keep a tally.

Be Silly

Never underestimate the power of being silly together. Send cards, silly things like bacon bandages (real thing!) or silly greeting cards. Laughing is a great way to alleviate stress and bond. 

Trace Your Hand or Leave a Kiss

If you feel like you’ll need a way to “touch” when you are apart, trace your hand on a piece of paper. The simple act of placing your hand on theirs will make you feel closer. You can also send a cloth handkerchief with kisses (in lipstick).  

Record Your Voice

Hearing someone’s voice when it’s been a while since you’ve spoken is amazing. Take a few minutes to record simple things like “I miss you” or “I love you”. Simply hearing each other’s voices can shorten the distance between you in an instance!


When we are apart, we tend to not want to express that we miss our spouse or that things are difficult. Don’t be afraid to share those moments. If something is difficult, say so. Ask for guidance. Just because you are apart does not mean you can’t rely on each other for support. 

No matter how far apart you are you can still remain strong when you make a point to find ways to connect!

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