900: The Truth About Marriage Today

When we started this show 900 episodes ago, marriage conversations looked completely different.

Social media wasn’t what it is now. The cultural noise wasn’t nearly as loud. And the exhaustion couples feel today wasn’t as widespread.

Here’s what you said:

• Strong and connected (34%)
• Stable but routine (41%)
• Drifting (11%)
• Struggling a lot (14%)

Couples still love each other. But there’s a new level of depletion that shows up in so many marriages today. The outside world pulls harder than ever. And when your energy runs out, often so does your connection.

And it’s not just external pressures. Different seasons of marriage bring their own challenges too.

When we asked what feels harder today than it did 10 years ago, you were honest:

• Making time for sexual intimacy.
• Finding something to talk about.
• Constant frustration.
• Balancing spouse, work, and home.
• Aging.

Not every couple is in crisis. A lot are simply out of energy.

When we asked what area requires the MOST intentional effort right now:

• 43% said sexual intimacy
• 32% said emotional connection
• 18% said time together (recreational intimacy)
• 7% said finances

That tracks with what we’ve seen over the years, in our own marriage and in countless others.

When exhaustion hits, sexual and emotional intimacy are the first things to get pushed to the back burner. You don’t have energy for sex or meaningful conversations. And you don’t feel like you have the bandwidth to ask new questions or try new things in the bedroom.

So what do you do when your marriage isn’t in crisis… but it’s running on fumes?

1. Stop comparing today to 10 years ago. Your bodies, energy, and responsibilities have all changed. Intimacy won’t look the same as it did back then, but that doesn’t have to be a bad thing.

2. Normalize desire differences. This conversation will never fully go away, and that’s okay. If you haven’t tried scheduling sex yet, The Intimacy Lifestyle is the best way to prioritize it even when energy is low.

3. Protect your energy, not just your time. What do you need to say no to so you can say yes to your marriage? Even 10% more margin can create monumental shifts in your connection.

4. Be intentional about the everyday stuff. If your marriage feels stable but routine, get purposeful about your conversations, your touch, your dates, and initiating sex.

After 900 episodes, here’s what hasn’t changed: extraordinary marriages don’t happen by accident. You have to be intentional and take action.

No matter how things feel in your marriage today, you can still experience the extraordinary.