903: Change Your Environment, Change Your Marriage

“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes… including you.” —Anne Lamott

The ONE Family spans decades and generations, so we know not everyone travels the same way. Even for us, the way we get away now looks very different from how we traveled when we were first married or had young kids.

Your age and stage of life plays a role in how you’re able to change your environment, but that doesn’t make it any less important.

Overwhelmingly, the two things that make it hardest to get away are kids and money.

Going on a trip without kids means finding childcare, managing schedules while you’re away, or navigating the complexities of infants or kids with special needs. And financially, you might not have the budget or the PTO to take time off.

But here’s what’s interesting.

We asked what shifts the most when you do get away. A few of you said emotional connection. Some said sexual connection. Even more said the fun you have together.

But 63% of you said everything shifts when you get away together.

That’s because when you step away from the logistics of daily life, you remember that you’re more than teammates, parents, or co-managers of life.

When you remove the laundry, the bedtime routines, the schedules, and the work notifications, you remember who you are together as a couple.

And when that happens, your conversations get deeper, touch increases, and laughter returns.

But what about those constraints? What if you have young kids, tight finances, or limited PTO?

You just have to get creative.

The beauty of changing your environment is that you can experience the benefits without going far away.

Start by redefining the word getaway. It doesn’t have to be a cruise or a week-long trip.

It could be:

• One night at a local hotel
• A day trip
• An overnight stay at a friend’s house
• A planned “home retreat” where the kids sleep at a neighbor’s

Next, don’t wait until you feel ready to plan a getaway. Put it on the calendar now. Planning creates anticipation, and anticipation builds connection between the two of you.

And if you truly can’t leave, create micro-space to connect alone together. Try this:

• Schedule a 3-hour block with phones off.
• Sit somewhere outside your house.
• No errands.
• No kids.
• No agenda.

Depending on your season of life, you may have to think outside the box to find solutions.

And finally, stop viewing time away together as selfish. Many couples mentioned the guilt that accompanies travel or getting away.

But the truth is: when your marriage is strong, your family is stronger. That’s not selfish.

If 63% of you said everything shifts when you get away, that’s not a coincidence.

As we said on the most recent 6 Pillars at Sea Marriage Getaway: navigate by design, not by default.

Your marriage needs space to breathe.

And extraordinary marriages prioritize time away to make that happen.

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Join the ONE Family private Facebook group to share your story and connect with other couples who are creating extraordinary marriages. To reach us on the Hug Hotline, call or text 858-876-5663 or email hugs@oneextraordinarymarriage.com.