906: You’re Married, Not Boring
“Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.” —Victor Borge
Marriage should be fun. After all, if single people are the only ones having a good time, why would anyone want to get married?
And yet, shows, movies, and probably some people you know make marriage look like something that gets boring and routine over time.
This is something we have been talking about at events around the world these last few weeks: from Ohio and Louisiana, to the Caribbean on The 6 Pillars at Sea Marriage Getaway, and all throughout Zimbabwe and Zambia.
In fact, this episode actually comes to you live from Harare, Zimbabwe, where we have spent two weeks speaking with couples, pastors, singles, and more about The 6 Pillars of Intimacy® and how to build an extraordinary marriage. A huge thank you to Zimworx for making this possible!
The word “boring” means causing weariness and restlessness through lack of interest. That is a dangerous place for a marriage to be.
Maybe that is exactly where yours feels right now. The first few years of a relationship tend to be light and playful.
But then life fills up with careers, kids, and packed schedules. None of those things are bad, but they do demand your time and energy. And when everything else is pulling at you, your most important earthly relationship ends up with whatever is left over.
You might be really good at managing life together, but you are not actually enjoying each other the way you used to. You are living like roommates instead of loving spouses.
When everything is serious all the time, you slowly lose the connection that keeps your marriage strong. Recreational intimacy is one of The 6 Pillars of Intimacy® for a reason! It’s a crucial part of a strong and healthy relationship.
So if things have gotten a little heavy lately, here are three ways to start bringing fun back:
- Take an honest look at your calendar. If there is no room for fun, you have to create some. It will not happen on its own.
- Be willing to be playful again. For the more serious personalities, this takes an intentional choice to get out of your head and lighten up with your spouse. From Dinner to Desire is a great place to start.
- Do not wait until you feel like it. The perfect moment does not exist. Choose to do something different, and the feelings will follow.
Part of building an extraordinary marriage is making sure you still genuinely enjoy being together. So this week, do not overthink it. Just do one thing that brings a little lightness back.
Resources
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Join the ONE Family private Facebook group to share your story and connect with other couples who are creating extraordinary marriages. To reach us on the Hug Hotline, call or text 858-876-5663 or email hugs@oneextraordinarymarriage.com.
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