922: The Hardest Part Was Coming Home
“Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction.” —Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
When Tony set out to hike the entire Pacific Crest Trail 26 years ago, we thought the hardest part would be saying goodbye… or spending 138 days apart. It was not.
The hardest part came after Tony walked back through our front door.
For so many couples, big seasons of change, challenge, or transition take a toll on the marriage. There is a common misconception that once the season ends, things will just go back to normal. Then couples find themselves feeling like strangers to each other, and it feels like the marriage has hit a dead end.
We were in that place too.
In this episode, we are pulling back the curtain on a season we do not talk about often. In the months after Tony came home from the PCT, we found ourselves considering divorce for the very first time. We still loved each other, but we were different versions of ourselves, and we did not know how to move forward.
Your season might look different… a health crisis, a new business, or an empty nest. Whatever it is, there are moments in marriage that will change you.
And what’s most important for couples to know is that these seasons do not just challenge your marriage while they are happening. They challenge it afterward too. You expect to fall back into step with someone who is not quite who they used to be… and neither are you.
There are four things that can help you find your way back to each other:
- Acknowledge that change has happened. (And stop expecting things to just go back to the way they were.)
- Get curious again. This is a rare opportunity to relearn your spouse as if you were dating them again for the first time.
- Adjust your pace. Sometimes, one spouse has to slow down so the two of you can move forward together.
- Choose your marriage every day. Since this can be one of the hardest parts, personalized marriage coaching may help.
If you have walked through a season that left you and your spouse feeling like strangers, this episode is for you.
Your story does not have to end in distance. It can become the start of something deeper.
Resources
The 6 Pillars of Intimacy® Certified Coaching Program
Connect with Us
Join the ONE Family private Facebook group to share your story and connect with other couples who are creating extraordinary marriages. To reach us on the Hug Hotline, call or text 858-876-5663 or email hugs@oneextraordinarymarriage.com.
Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, we will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, we only recommend products or services we use personally and believe will add value to our readers. We are disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”
Medical Disclaimer: The content of this article & website is provided for general informational purposes only and is not intended as, nor should it be considered a substitute for, professional medical advice. Do not use the information on this website for diagnosing or treating any medical or health condition. If you have or suspect you have a medical problem, promptly contact your professional healthcare provider.