923: What You’re Really Fighting About
“Behind every argument is often something deeper that has not been said.” —Anonymous
What is the argument in your marriage that keeps coming back… no matter how many times you think you have resolved it?
Your answer could span any of The 6 Pillars of Intimacy®:
- Money
- Time together
- Parenting
- Sexual connection
- Faith
- Loving touch
Many couples get stuck in the cycle of having the same conversation over and over, and yet it never seems to actually go anywhere.
What you think you are fighting about may be real… but it may not be the whole issue.
Often, the surface topic is loud, but underneath it are things like fear, trust, security, and respect. And when those go unaddressed, the tension seeps out into your relationship. It shows up in how you talk to each other, how you spend time together, and even how you connect sexually.
This is exactly what coaches learn to identify in The 6 Pillars of Intimacy® Certified Coaching Program. What looks like one issue is often two pillars needing attention at the same time.
These four simple steps can help you break the cycle this week:
- Name the repeating argument, without blaming your spouse.
- Get curious about what the issue actually represents for each of you.
- Identify which pillars are involved, and which one is the loudest.
- Choose one different action to take over the next seven days.
You do not have to solve every argument you have ever had. But this simple four-step approach can create a different experience around one repeated issue… so you both can move forward and restore closeness and connection (in other words, intimacy).
Resources
The 6 Pillars of Intimacy® Certified Coaching Program
Connect with Us
Join the ONE Family private Facebook group to share your story and connect with other couples who are creating extraordinary marriages. To reach us on the Hug Hotline, call or text 858-876-5663 or email hugs@oneextraordinarymarriage.com.
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