924: Redefine Sexual Intimacy
“Every season asks something different of love.” —Anonymous
When intercourse becomes painful, difficult, or isn’t possible, what happens to sexual intimacy in your marriage?
For many couples, the answer is more complicated than they expected.
Recently, I (Alisa) was talking with a coaching client navigating medically induced menopause in her thirties. She and her husband still wanted closeness, connection, and a healthy sexual relationship, but intercourse had become painful at times.
That raised a much bigger question:
If intercourse changes, does sexual intimacy have to disappear with it?
The ONE Family had a lot to say about this.
When asked whether couples can still be sexually intimate when intercourse isn’t possible, 49% said yes.
We also asked whether pain, illness, medication, or hormones had ever changed their sex life:
- 44% said yes, significantly
- 42% said yes, temporarily
So this isn’t a fringe issue. At some point, most marriages will move through a season where sexual intimacy looks different than it once did.
And when that happens, couples can find themselves facing challenges like:
- One spouse feeling less than or unloved
- Tension because one or both spouses feel disconnected or their needs aren’t being met
- Learning how to create a mutual connection in a different way
- Accepting the realities of aging and changes in the body
- Finding new ways to connect when intercourse isn’t possible
That’s where this conversation gets nuanced.
Sometimes one spouse is dealing with pain, fear, frustration, or changes in their body. The other may be dealing with rejection, loss, or the feeling that an important way they experience love has been taken away.
Neither experience should be dismissed. And neither spouse should have to pretend the change doesn’t matter.
Tune in as we talk about:
- What happens when a couple gets stuck in a “Did we or didn’t we have sex?” mentality
- Why intercourse can represent far more than the physical act itself
- How the two of you can begin redefining sexual intimacy for the season you’re in
If pain, menopause, aging, illness, medication, or another life change has affected your sex life, this is a conversation worth having together.
Resources
The 6 Pillars of Intimacy® Certified Coaching Program
Connect with Us
Join the ONE Family private Facebook group to share your story and connect with other couples who are creating extraordinary marriages. To reach us on the Hug Hotline, call or text 858-876-5663 or email hugs@oneextraordinarymarriage.com.
Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, we will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, we only recommend products or services we use personally and believe will add value to our readers. We are disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”
Medical Disclaimer: The content of this article & website is provided for general informational purposes only and is not intended as, nor should it be considered a substitute for, professional medical advice. Do not use the information on this website for diagnosing or treating any medical or health condition. If you have or suspect you have a medical problem, promptly contact your professional healthcare provider.