About Us

Welcome and thank you for taking the time to stop by and learn about what makes us so passionate about what we do and why we’ve chosen this path.  We believe that the healthy combination of sex, love, and commitment is more than the foundation of a strong marriage… it’s the glue that will keep a marriage together.

What has taken us on this journey, you ask?

Well, a combination of things.  Both bumps in the road and a ton of work… and recognizing that valuing our marriage means giving it time and attention (and a lot of TLC) so it grows and flourishes.

Our story isn’t one for the history books, but it has brought us to this place of knowing and sharing.  Relationships evolve and ours is no exception.

As a result of this journey, we created ONE Extraordinary Marriage to educate, entertain, encourage, and inspire you to have mind-blowing intimacy and a deep-level connection in your marriage.

Whether you listen to our podcast, read our articles, or connect with us through social media, we hope that ONE Extraordinary Marriage enhances your marriage and gives you the tools to make your marriage the absolute best it can be.

Our Story

We have been married for 22 years and not all of them have been happy ones.  Like you, we came together with every good intention and “forever” in mind, but then “life” happened and we found ourselves ill prepared to deal with our marriage challenges.

Not only were we struggling as a couple, but also we were both struggling with our own personal hurdles independent of one another.  Our “bumps in the road” were actually mountains in our eyes and we knew that in order to get to the other side, keep our family together, and experience a loving, intimate marriage, we were going to need to dig deep and address our circumstances head-on.

Dealing with it all was our commitment to each other.  Together, we overcame Tony’s 18-year addiction to pornography, the loss of a child at 18 weeks, debt in excess of $50,000, poor communication, lack of collective interests, and questioning trust.  But, the key word here is “together”.

We’ve learned some hard knock life lessons and we’ve discovered key principles that have kept our marriage (and sex life) alive and flourishing… and we did it together.  We can do the same for you!

Listen Here as Tony and Alisa tell their story.


What do you think of when you hear that word?  Your answer to this question directly reflects the level of intimacy in your relationship.  We believe that sex and intimacy are key components to a healthy and thriving marriage.

We are the energetic parents of two children. Our kids truly bless our lives, but they also add a layer of contention to our marriage. It can be hard to be intimate when kids are underfoot.  Do you find this is happening to you as well?  We can teach you some tricks to find quality intimacy time.

Being fit and healthy and the associated intimacy it brings to our relationship has helped us through good times and bad. Our hiking escapades early in our marriage led us to the three highest peaks in Southern California, backpacking treks in Yosemite, Sequoia and Kings Canyon, Death Valley, as well as fun-filled dates along the beach or resorts closer to home.

It was in these deeply intimate and raw experiences that we grew closer and increased our awareness of just how important these couple excursions and commitment to our health and wellness could be to our romantic intimacy.

We are proud to share that a few of the things we are known for is the 60 Days of Sex Challenge which completely turned our marriage around and the 7 Days of Sex Challenges we sponsor for other married couples.  It’s through these two programs that ONE Extraordinary Marriage has taken ownership of the importance of sex and connection.

Our book Stripped Down: 13 Keys to Unlocking Intimacy in Your Marriage has affected marriages the world over by providing “real world” tools to improve intimacy and create deep rooted marriage connections.

Join us on this intimate journey.

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  1. Hi Alisa,
    I came across your blog through another blog I read…lol, and we know each other!! (I'm sure you remember me, we do both live in the same town).
    Small world!
    Kelsey Kim

    • How do you build trust and intamicy again when husband after husbands pornographic and lust addiction. Still healing. What are next steps

  2. Kelsey,

    It's great to have you check out our blog and yes, of course, I remember you! We just finished recording this week's podcast and talk about how you live here in Poway but found out what we were doing through someone else's blog. I love the internet!

    Hope that you are doing well and I'm sure I will see you around town soon.


  3. Great way to tell who you are! Like yours, our marriage is very, very strong now because in 20 years we have really gone through quite a lot. Like you say, sometimes it was pretty great; other times it was tough. But because of sticking with it, life together is extraordinary. I am always appreciative of couples who make it through. The rewards are bountiful! Congratulations to you.

    • Liz, it’s who we are and proud of it. Couldn’t say that years ago, but now we can! The good with the bad is what makes marriage so interesting. You know this first hand after 20 years. It took us some years to realize this about our marriage. Now that we know that these two go hand in hand we embrace them and grow.

      We might need to start something for those of us who make it to teens and beyond in our marriages. Maybe “Sticking IT!” would work.

      Thanks again for sharing here. We really appreciate it.

  4. Hey Alisa and Tony. Thank you for being so transparent. We are very interested in the 60 day challenge. Where can we subscribe? It seems to be quite a challenge. So we’ll need some guidance. Please let me know? Kind regards. Lehani.

  5. Hello Guys,
    I just started listening to you podcast.
    I was wondering if you guys have or can do an episode about moving on after an affair?

    • Honored to have you as part of the ONE Family, Ana! Here’s a podcast we did on broken trust called Trust Me. Also, while on our website, you can search for podcasts and articles using the key word infidelity or affair and a few will come up for you.

  6. I’ve listened to many of you podcasts and even got the 19 questions document. I hear all the hugs you give at the begininng of each podcast, however what about people like me. My spouse won’t even begin to listen to even one. She thinks things are fine the way they are. What do I do now?

  7. My friend recommended your site to me. I was reading your story and realized that is our story. Husbands addiction to pornography, financial struggles, major trust issues due to sex addiction, non existing marital boundaries and through in a double mastecomy. I feel this site will be a blessing to our marriage. Still struggling but in counceling. By the Grace of God we are getting through this….still

  8. Hey u guys.. My name is mayia and I am engaged to getting married next year in Dec.. I have been with my fiancee for 1 year and it has been a been miserable for me…i am very emotional and I am trying everything to make this relationship work.I am willing to fix and try new thing but he isn’t… Its like he knows everything and everything pose to go his way.. We can’t have a conversation without arguing, he is stuck an his ways and think that his ways is ok.. He doesn’t have to listen to anything I say but I need to listen to him and respect him. He has a problem with me b we ing on the phone r laptop says that’s all I do that Im not being a parent r an adult .. Well I’m 32 an he is 50, I have 3 children none by him and he has two but they are grown. So I go to school full time and he was hurt in his job so he can’t work .but he has his own automotive shop at the house so he be out side working… Well he knew that once I start school I would be on the laptop more. Well he seems to think I’m not doing work that long. We both have big trust issues well I am trusting but he can’t trust me says I have to earn trust.. I have never cheated r gave him a reason for him not to trust me.. I don’t understand… I use to dress unopropriate r when his friends come over I would have on little shorts and not change while they r here and he says that I don’t have no respect for him . so I changed my ways . well I tell him that it is disrespectful for him to watch porn he don’t think it is this is so with ok him he see no wrong an what he do. He watch porn everyday and even even when we r having sex… He don’t understand how I feel . I could be laying down with no cloths and he want even touch me but he can watch porn.. I mean how I’m I pose to feel.. He is always right and I am always doing something wrong in his eyes. I love him and really want this to work but we need help can y’all give us some pointes

  9. Are you sponsoring a workshop on marriage for couples in Northern Utah 25th and or 26th of June? I wanted to sign up but it looks now like it’s too late!?!?