Last week we talked about the “Nothing Zone“. Today we want to jump over to what is a major cause of nothing syndrome.

Believe it or not, it’s fear of confrontation, it’s fear of talking about the heavy, touchy topics, the dreaded…

Big Issues!! (insert scary music here)

As marriage coaches, we see it time and time again. Far too often, couples are scared stiff to tread the dangerous waters of the heavy topics.

Some of those scary subjects include:

-Sex (or severe lack of it)
-Boredom (boredom can kill a marriage faster than you can imagine)
-Finances (especially if one spouse is “in charge” of the finances)
-Kids (what they are doing and/or not doing)
-Extended family issues (Example: nosey or doting in-laws can cause incredible stress on a    marriage)
-Retirement/future planning

We can go on and on, but I think you get the idea.

Many of our clients and students struggle with this very basic facet of marriage. Communication when it comes to the heavy stuff.

Take it from a highly experienced marriage coach. You can’t run away from the big topics. You can’t avoid them or sweep them under a rug. You need to be able to discuss openly and freely about ANY topic, heavy or not.

Here’s a little exercise:

Sit down with your spouse and make a schedule of discussions for each “heavy subject” either of you want to cover. Set them to occur at intervals that you are both OK with. Whether it’s weekly, bi-weekly, monthly… whatever works for both of you.

Then stick to the schedule. Meet up, sit down and talk!

Best way to start the discussion? Ask each other questions. It really is that simple!

For more tips and tools on how to strengthen your marriage, check out Connect Like You Did When You First Met, to help you deal with the questions!

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