483: OUR MARRIAGE VOWS PART 3 — FOR RICHER, FOR POORER

“There is no my money, his money or her money in a successful marriage.” —Anonymous

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In the series “Our Marriage Vows” we are stripping away all of the circumstantial topics that get put onto marriages, and diving deep into the core of what marriage is. Maybe you’re like Alisa who, on her wedding day, said her vows as a formality — because she was excited to get to the good stuff — the party. What she has realized and wishes she knew then was the vows WERE the “good stuff”.

Part 3 – “For Richer or Poorer”. Many of you weren’t brought up in homes where your families had perfectly healthy and open relationships with money. Either you saw bad habits modeled, lack of information about how your families handled the tougher money issues, or just lack of financial literacy about taxes, interest, debt, investment tools, and other money topics.

480: LEAVING THE TOILET SEAT UP

“Marriage is two people in love standing in the same bathroom.” Austin Kleon

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It should come as no surprise that the fastest growing room in homes being built in America today is the master bathroom. In fact, the National Association of Home Builders have cited a new “must” for many home buyers: a his and hers master bath.

In what has been an unsightly, yet needed room in each house, couples encounter all kinds of tension surrounding bathroom logistics.

477: EMOTIONAL EXHAUSTION

“Challenges are what make life interesting and overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.” —Joshua J. Marine

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When you sound more like Eeyore than Tigger, it’s past time to evaluate how you are spending your energy.

Just like every other resource, your emotional energy is limited, and like time, you only have a certain amount every day. Are you investing it into things that are yielding good things, or does it seem like there’s a drain that’s sucking more than its fair share?

476: WHEN “OK” IS NOT OK

“Don’t fake being OK. You only hurt yourself. Be real with what you are going through but don’t let it consume you.” —Anonymous

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When saying “OK” all the time becomes the default characteristic of your marriage, you are at the tipping point of marital demise. It’s what precipitates couples on coaching sessions where one spouse wants out. Things are “OK” right before the marriage is no longer desired.

Put in grading terms, “OK” means satisfactory, but not good — you’d get a “C”. That’s just one step above a D, which doesn’t pass the class.