454: DEALING WITH THE IN-LAWS

“No one should come between you and your spouse. They should come alongside you but not between you.” —Ashley McIlwain

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When our son was 4 months old Tony’s dad took our little family out for lunch. Everything was going well until he offered our baby some of his Coca-Cola ®. As Alisa’s eyes were about to pop out of their sockets and Tony stammered with the right words to speak, we saw the potential for tension and conflict across our families.

There are stages and layers of relational tension with in-laws. It begins at “I do” as you leave your birth family and cleave to your spouse, but as holiday logistics are planned, children are raised, finances are handled, and parents require more care the intricacies are only compounded.

453: FEAR IS CRIPPLING MARRIAGES

“When we invite fear, doubt or worry to occupy seats in the boardroom of our heart, all kinds of things can wreck the joy of our marriages.” —Anonymous

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Fear is a natural human emotion. It has a biological purpose to enable us to perceive danger and make wise choices. But it creeps way beyond its healthy place and is wreaking havoc on marriages around the world today.

Fear is not always met with a rapid heartbeat and beads of sweat. It’s often the silent weight that you carry that keeps you behind, walking through life and marriage instead of leaping. Being stuck in the past, or overly concerned about the future limits how you can experience the present. Quite simply, fear steals your joy.

452: MULTIPLE ORGASMS

“The only thing better than having an orgasm? Having another orgasm.” —Anonymous

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There aren’t a lot of hard-numbers on this topic due to the private and self-reported nature, but 45% of married women and 20% of married men say that they can have multiple orgasms in a given sexual encounter (see more stats like that here).

Everyone’s body, preferences and experiences are different. For Tony and Alisa, we spent the first five years of marriage with Alisa faking orgasms.

451: QUANTITY AND QUALITY SEX LIFE

“Quality is never the result of an accident. It is always the result of intelligent effort.” —John Ruskin

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Many things in life have a trade-off between quantity and quality: the diamond you can get within a budget, the number friendships you can maintain, even the pleasure from an In-N-Out burger will diminish quickly if eaten three times per day.

However we don’t want that principle to choke out the truth regarding your sexual intimacy.