453: FEAR IS CRIPPLING MARRIAGES

“When we invite fear, doubt or worry to occupy seats in the boardroom of our heart, all kinds of things can wreck the joy of our marriages.” —Anonymous

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Fear is a natural human emotion. It has a biological purpose to enable us to perceive danger and make wise choices. But it creeps way beyond its healthy place and is wreaking havoc on marriages around the world today.

Fear is not always met with a rapid heartbeat and beads of sweat. It’s often the silent weight that you carry that keeps you behind, walking through life and marriage instead of leaping. Being stuck in the past, or overly concerned about the future limits how you can experience the present. Quite simply, fear steals your joy.

[INFOGRAPH] HOW BOUNDARIES ENGENDER TRUST

It may sound backwards at first, but the data is clear — couples who have defined, shared boundaries regarding interactions with people of the opposite sex have fewer trust issues than those who don’t.

Think of it like installing a fence around the backyard before letting young kids out to play. The fence sets a perimeter that both keeps out unwanted dangers while allowing kids the freedom to know what space is safe for unrestricted fun.

421: TELLING YOUR SPOUSE YOU STRUGGLE WITH PORN

“The truth may hurt for a little while but a lie hurts forever.” —Anonymous

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Tony came into our marriage with an addiction to porn.

It started with magazines at a young age and progressed to chat rooms and even trying to pick up women in bars after marriage.

418: CAUGHT IN THE COMPARISON TRAP

“Every minute you spend wishing you had someone else’s life is a minute spent wasting yours.” —Anonymous

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There are times when you can be so focused on other people’s lives that you have stopped living your own.

You become fascinated and more interested in what other couples have than on what you can do to create your extraordinary marriages.