486: YOU NEED TO FIX OUR MARRIAGE

“Marriage is like home maintenance. When the smoke detector starts beeping you fix it. You don’t buy a new house.” —Amy Miller

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I need to fix our marriage, what about you???”

It’s easy to snap to the defensive when you hear an accusation such as “You need to fix our marriage”, and yet we want you to pause and reconsider for a moment.

471: THE DANGER OF ISOLATION

“Isolation is the enemy of improvement.” —Tony Wagner

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Isolation is a powerful weapon that can destroy even the best of projects, people, and relationships. We were not meant to live in isolation because of how damaging the effects can be.

Healthy relationships tie us together with other people who can support, encourage and equip us to grow.

453: FEAR IS CRIPPLING MARRIAGES

“When we invite fear, doubt or worry to occupy seats in the boardroom of our heart, all kinds of things can wreck the joy of our marriages.” —Anonymous

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Fear is a natural human emotion. It has a biological purpose to enable us to perceive danger and make wise choices. But it creeps way beyond its healthy place and is wreaking havoc on marriages around the world today.

Fear is not always met with a rapid heartbeat and beads of sweat. It’s often the silent weight that you carry that keeps you behind, walking through life and marriage instead of leaping. Being stuck in the past, or overly concerned about the future limits how you can experience the present. Quite simply, fear steals your joy.

[INFOGRAPH] HOW BOUNDARIES ENGENDER TRUST

It may sound backwards at first, but the data is clear — couples who have defined, shared boundaries regarding interactions with people of the opposite sex have fewer trust issues than those who don’t.

Think of it like installing a fence around the backyard before letting young kids out to play. The fence sets a perimeter that both keeps out unwanted dangers while allowing kids the freedom to know what space is safe for unrestricted fun.