Devotions for Married Couples: How to Start (Even When It Feels Awkward)

You know you “should” do devotions together. Maybe you’ve even tried a few times. But here’s what actually happens: Life gets busy. One of you is more into it than the other. Or it just feels… awkward. Forced. Like one more thing on the to-do list.

So you don’t start. Or you start and stop. And that nagging feeling stays—that your marriage could be deeper if you shared your faith together, but you’re not sure how to get there.

Here’s the truth: Devotions for married couples don’t have to be complicated. You don’t need an hour. You don’t need to be the super-spiritual couple at church. You don’t even need to feel ready.

Start with 15 minutes, once a week. Seriously, that’s enough.

This isn’t about becoming theologians. It’s about connecting with your spouse at the deepest level—where your faith meets your marriage.

Why Devotions Together Matter (Not Just Individual Quiet Time)

You might already have your own quiet time with God. That’s valuable. But individual faith doesn’t automatically build spiritual intimacy with your spouse.

Spiritual intimacy is an area of life that most consider very individual. However, in a marriage, if you are dealing with something spiritually, your spouse is too. That’s true even when you don’t realize it.

When you do devotions together—actually together, not just in the same house—something shifts:

• You hear what God is saying to your spouse. Their insights become part of your shared life.
• You share things you wouldn’t otherwise. A devotional creates space for conversations that don’t happen naturally.
• You pray about the same things. Alignment happens when you’re both talking to God about your marriage, your kids, your struggles.
• You align around shared values. Scripture reading together shapes how you think about money, parenting, and priorities.

The vulnerability factor matters here. When you read and discuss scripture together, you can’t hide behind a surface-level faith. Your spouse hears your questions, your doubts, your moments of clarity.

For many couples, spiritual intimacy can be more intimate than sex. That might sound strange, but think about it: how many people have ever heard you really pray? When you invite your spouse into that space, you’re letting them see your soul.

And here’s the long-term reality: Folded hands take over when libidos fade. The spiritual connection you build now will carry you through every season of marriage.

Signs You’re Ready to Start

You’re ready if any of these describe you:

• You want deeper connection beyond logistics and schedules
• You’ve been meaning to start “someday” but someday never comes
• You pray individually but rarely (or never) together
• You attend church together but don’t talk about faith at home
• One spouse has been asking about devotions and the other has been avoiding it
• You’ve tried before and it fizzled out
• You’re newlyweds wanting to build good habits early
• You’re empty nesters rediscovering your marriage

Only 13% of the ONE Family say their spiritual intimacy is where they want it to be. You’re in good company. And starting is simpler than you think.

How to Start Devotions as a Couple

1. Start with 15 Minutes Once a Week

Permission granted: You don’t need an hour. You don’t need daily. Weekly is fine to start.

The Bible is meant to be bread for daily use, not cake for special occasions—but weekly bread is still bread. And it’s infinitely better than no bread at all.

Pick a consistent time:

• Sunday evening after dinner
• Saturday morning with coffee
• The beginning of date night
• Right before bed one night a week

Make it the same time each week. Routine matters more than duration. Build consistency first. Expand later if you want to.

2. Choose a Format That Fits You

There’s no “right” way to do this. What matters is that you actually do it.

Options to consider:

• Devotional book: Pre-written content with discussion questions. Lowest barrier to entry.
• Bible reading: Choose a book and read a chapter together. Good for couples who want to go deeper in scripture.
• App-based: Digital devotionals with reminders and structure. Works well for busy schedules.
• Discussion-first: Start with a life question or current issue, then find relevant scripture together.

If you’ve never done this, start with a couples devotional book. It removes the “what do we read?” barrier completely. Structure helps when you’re building a new habit.

3. Keep It Simple

Here’s the entire formula:

1. Read the passage or devotional aloud (take turns) 2. Discuss: “What stood out to you?” 3. Pray together (can be brief—even holding hands silently works) 4. Done

That’s it. Don’t overcomplicate it with study guides, journaling requirements, or lengthy prayers. The point is connection, not performance.

Simplicity makes it sustainable.

4. Expect Awkwardness (It’s Normal)

The first few times will feel weird. This is completely normal.

It can feel vulnerable to discuss faith openly with your spouse. You might not have profound insights every time. Some sessions will feel flat. You might stumble over your words when you pray.

That’s okay. The awkwardness fades with practice.

Remember: vulnerability is the point. If it feels a little uncomfortable, you’re going deeper than the safe, surface-level places. The discomfort you feel is actually evidence of intimacy being built.

Different Approaches to Couples Devotions

Book-Based Devotions

Best for: Couples who want structure and guidance

How it works: One devotional reading per session, discussion questions included

Pros: Low prep, clear content, designed specifically for couples

Cons: Can feel formulaic if you stick with one too long; may not address your specific current issues

Bible Reading Together

Best for: Couples who want to go deeper in scripture

How it works: Choose a book of the Bible, read a chapter together, discuss

Pros: Direct engagement with scripture; move at your own pace

Cons: Requires more preparation; no built-in discussion prompts

Start with something accessible—a Gospel, Proverbs, or Philippians work well for couples.

App-Based Devotions

Best for: Tech-comfortable couples, busy schedules

How it works: Daily or weekly content delivered via app, often with audio options

Pros: Reminders help build the habit; flexibility; variety of content

Cons: Screen time during devotions can feel less personal

Discussion-First Approach

Best for: Couples who want to connect devotions to real life

How it works: Start with a life question or current issue, find relevant scriptures for marriage together

Pros: Highly relevant; addresses real situations you’re facing

Cons: Requires more biblical knowledge; can drift off track

Practical tip: Try one approach for 4-6 weeks before switching. Give it time to become familiar before deciding it’s not for you.

When One Spouse Is More Into It Than the Other

This is incredibly common. Different faith backgrounds. Different spiritual seasons. Different levels of interest. Most couples are not at the same place spiritually, and that’s normal.

What NOT to do:

• Don’t guilt or pressure your spouse
• Don’t weaponize devotions (“If you really loved me/God…”)
• Don’t take over and make it feel like their spiritual obligation
• Don’t give up and build resentment

What TO do:

• The more interested spouse creates invitation, not pressure
• Start where THEY are, not where you are
• Maybe that’s 10 minutes, not 30
• Maybe that’s a devotional book with short readings, not deep Bible study
• Maybe it’s discussion, not prayer together (yet)
• Model consistency without demanding participation
• Pray for them privately; invite them graciously
• Celebrate any step they take, no matter how small

Spiritual intimacy isn’t about being at the same place. It’s about walking together, wherever each of you is on the journey.

Making Devotions Sustainable (Not Just Another Failed Habit)

Why Couples Stop

• Started too ambitious (daily for an hour)
• No set time, so it never happens
• One spouse lost interest and the other gave up
• It felt like a chore, not connection

How to Keep Going

Start small. 15 minutes weekly is better than 0 minutes daily.

Same time, same place. Build it into an existing routine.

Protect the time. Treat it like an appointment you can’t move.

Mix it up occasionally. After a few months, change devotionals or try a different book of the Bible.

Connect it to something enjoyable. Coffee together. Quiet house after kids are in bed. The beginning of date night.

Grace over guilt. Missed a week? Start again. No shame spiral. Grace is the whole point.

The long game matters here. Folded hands take over when libidos fade. The spiritual intimacy you build now will sustain you through every season of marriage—including the seasons when everything else feels hard.

Connecting Devotions to Your Whole Marriage

Devotions aren’t an isolated spiritual practice. They impact everything in your relationship.

Tony and Alisa DiLorenzo teach that intimacy has six pillars: Emotional, Physical, Financial, Spiritual, Recreational, and Sexual. Each pillar supports the others, and spiritual intimacy is foundational to all of them.

How devotions strengthen other pillars:

• Emotional: Creates safe space for vulnerability and sharing
• Physical: Spiritual closeness often leads to physical closeness
• Financial: Shared biblical values guide money decisions
• Recreational: Devotions can become a meaningful shared activity
• Sexual: The vulnerability in devotions mirrors the vulnerability in intimacy

If you ignore spiritual intimacy as a couple, you put all of your other Pillars of Intimacy at risk.

Devotions are one practice that strengthens the whole foundation.

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Take the First Step

This week, pick one approach and try it. Just one.

Choose a devotional. Set a time. Protect 15 minutes.

Read something together. Share what stood out. Say a prayer—even if it’s brief, even if it’s awkward, even if you just hold hands in silence.

Start with 15 minutes, once a week. Seriously, that’s enough.

For a comprehensive understanding of how spiritual intimacy connects to all six areas of a thriving marriage, get The 6 Pillars of Intimacy by Tony and Alisa DiLorenzo.

Want to start reconnecting today? Try the free 5 Day Intimacy Challenge.

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Frequently Asked Questions

How often should married couples do devotions together?

Start with what’s sustainable—even once a week for 15 minutes. As it becomes more natural, you can increase frequency. Some couples do brief daily devotions; others prefer a longer weekly session. Consistency matters more than frequency. Build the habit first.

What is the best devotional for married couples?

The best devotional is one you’ll actually use. Start with a couples-specific devotional with short daily readings and discussion questions. The structure removes barriers and makes it easier to start. As you build the habit, you can move to Bible reading or other approaches.

How do you do devotions with your spouse?

Keep it simple: Read the devotional or scripture passage aloud (take turns). Discuss what stood out to each of you. Pray together briefly—even holding hands in silence counts. Don’t overcomplicate it. The point is connection, not checking a box.

What if my spouse doesn’t want to do devotions?

You can’t force spiritual growth. Focus on your own faith while remaining inviting, not pushy. Start smaller than you’d prefer—maybe just discussing a sermon or sharing what you’re reading. Meet them where they are, not where you think they should be.

What do you talk about during couples devotions?

Start with “What stood out to you?” from the reading. Discuss how it applies to your life—your marriage, your kids, your work, your struggles. Share doubts and questions, not just certainties. The goal is understanding each other’s faith, not having perfect answers.

How long should couples devotions be?

15-20 minutes is plenty to start. Reading, brief discussion, short prayer. Don’t let time pressure become a barrier. A meaningful 10-minute devotion beats a skipped 45-minute session.

When is the best time for couples devotions?

The best time is whenever you’ll actually do it consistently. Many couples find morning (before the day gets away) or evening (winding down together) works best. Sunday evenings or Saturday mornings often have more margin. Pick a time and protect it.