We have some tough love for you today when it comes to building a marriage that is extraordinary. Your marriage is YOUR responsibility.
Have you considered what role YOU play in your partnership?
Although you may sometimes feel like you don’t have much “power” in your marriage, you have a massive amount of influence… IF you decide to use it.
When things aren’t going well in your marriage, it’s so easy to see everything that your spouse is doing wrong.
You might be guilty of pushing all the responsibility for an extraordinary marriage on your better half if you have caught yourself asking these questions (even if it’s only silently in your own head):
- Why can’t you be more _____?
- Why do you have to do ______?
- I wish you would/wouldn’t ______?
- Everything that you do makes me feel ______!
You want your spouse to make change.
You want them to be more loving, caring, considerate, engaged, communicative, sexy, romantic, etc. etc. and yet… they aren’t doing it!
You may find yourself getting frustrated and angry.
This may start fights or nitpicking or, even more damaging one or both of you withdraw, giving the silent treatment.
Have you ever stopped to think that this situation in your marriage is the result of what BOTH of you have done or not done?
That maybe, you have some responsibility for your current circumstances?
Now, this isn’t saying that you have responsibility for the decisions that your spouse has made.
This is saying that you BOTH have responsibility for the environment that you have created in your marriage.
It’s time to stop pointing the finger at your spouse and instead ask yourself,
“How have I also been guilty of creating rejection in our marriage?”
SPOILER ALERT: You cannot change your spouse.
They have to want to do it themselves. But, you CAN change yourself and you can change your marriage environment through one decision.
When you take responsibility for your actions the entire temperament of your marriage changes.
Improving your marriage becomes less about what your spouse has to change and more about what you are going to change in yourself.
When we start working on ourselves FIRST there is less blame in your marriage, less nagging, fewer accusations and less tension.
It’s EASY to blame someone else for our problems. It’s HARD to face how WE are also contributing to creating turbulence, distance, and distrust in our marriage.
So often in partnerships (especially those in crisis), there is a tendency to look outward. To focus on what your spouse has done and why THEY are at fault.
But, if a couple is going to have any chance at rescuing their marriage they need to realize that they BOTH have responsibility for creating change within their relationship.
It takes two to make things go right… and wrong.
Do you feel like you’re ready to do the work that will give you the marriage you dream of?
Are you ready to own your own baggage and get back on the same team with your spouse?
Then, discover the KEY ingredient that separates confident and OPEN relationships from confused, struggling, and shaky ones…
The Trust Factor is built on the idea that when you take action, you can change not only your circumstances but also your feelings. In fact, we believe that if you want to see a change in how you feel, you need to start doing something different.