GOING DEEPER: TALKING ABOUT THE “F” WORD

“One of the biggest red flags is not talking about your finances.” —Leslie Abrigo


Talking about money is one of the most difficult areas for couples.

We’ve been taught from an early age not to talk about money and yet, with our spouse, we are supposed to be completely transparent.

According to attorney, Leslie Abrigo, talking about money is so important that it’s written into law (at least in California):

This confidential relationship imposes a duty of the highest good faith and fair dealing on each spouse, and neither shall take any unfair advantage of the other.

However this can be one of the most challenging subjects for couples. When do you talk about money?

  • When you are dating?
  • When you are engaged?
  • Once you are married?

The answer is YES.

Money really should be a conversation that two of you have throughout your relationship.

It’s not a one time talk because your relationship and your needs don’t stay the same throughout your life.

The ability to bring up the “F” Word and talk about money both before AND after the wedding is one of the most powerful skills that the two of you can develop.

It’s one of the skills that contributes to the health of your marriage.

So where does a couple start?

If you are dating or engaged, start the conversation about your debts before the wedding day.

If you are married have the conversation now.

Open up your bank accounts, all of them to your spouse.

This doesn’t mean that you have to have all shared accounts what it does mean is that the two of you understand and are in agreement with what you agree to share and what you agree is only on your shoulders individually.

Even if one person handles the majority of the financial decisions, regularly make time to stay informed and connect with one another.

Financial surprises are NEVER a good thing.

When you talk about the “F” Word your finances don’t have to be another “four letter word.

With intention and guidance the two of you can make this topic a source of strength in your relationship.

Leslie Abrigo is the managing partner of Leslie L. Abrigo, APC.

Primarily focusing on Family Law, Leslie is a dedicated professional with over 14 years of legal experience. She is Certified by the State Bar of California as a Family Law Specialist, licensed and practicing law in California, and further licensed to practice in the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit the U.S. District Court for the Central District of California, the U.S. District Court of Southern California, and the Department of Veteran’s Affairs.

You can learn more at The Law Office of Leslie L. Abrigo, APC today.

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