Mismatched libido is a common challenge in marriage for many couples.


Over the years, internal and external factors will affect your sexual desire. But mismatched libido can be devastating to your marriage if you don’t address it. 

Sexual intimacy requires intentionality.

Whether you or your spouse struggle with low libido, you both can take action to keep sexual intimacy strong in your marriage. 

Understanding Mismatched Libido

Libido refers to your sex drive or sexual desire. 

Mismatched libidos can cause the sexual intimacy in your marriage to falter temporarily when one of you is less interested or uninterested in sex. 

Mismatched libido in marriage is not uncommon. But it can be frustrating for both of you. 

The spouse with a higher sexual desire might feel rejected, disappointed, or resentful. They want to connect sexually with their spouse but don’t know how to help.

At the same time, the spouse with a lower sex drive might feel guilty, frustrated, or anxious, especially since not being able to get “in the mood” can cause even more stress. 

The Causes of Mismatched Libido

Several things influence the level of your libido. 

For example, stress is a prominent factor in determining libido.

Stress from work, money, or family can lower your libido. Anxiety and depression may also decrease your interest in sex. 

Hormone levels play a key role in libido. As you age, your hormones change. Unbalanced or lower levels of hormones, such as testosterone in men or estrogen in women, can cause lower libido. 

Other factors, such as medical conditions or certain medications, can reduce your libido. Diet and exercise also influence sex drive. 

How Mismatched Libido Affects Marriage

Mismatched libido can cause cracks to form in your marriage if it goes unaddressed. 

There’s no doubt that sexual intimacy, one of The 6 Pillars of Intimacy®, is essential to your marriage.

When sex isn’t happening, you’re missing out on the closeness and connection that comes from this pillar of intimacy. 

You also miss out on many health and relationship benefits. Sex can lead to a stronger immune system, lower blood pressure, increased trust, a deeper emotional bond with your spouse, and much more. 

Mismatched libido can lead to a sexless marriage. But it doesn’t have to. 

You can choose to take action. 

Even if you have low or nonexistent libido, you can keep your sexual intimacy strong. Start by talking with your spouse about what you’re feeling. 

A low sex drive can make you feel like you’re not “in the mood.” But what would happen if you pushed through to experience intimacy with your spouse? 

There are too many benefits of sex for you to give up on it. You can make it through seasons of mismatched libido. It will require time and effort, but it is more than worth it. 

In fact, there are countless solutions to help boost libido and reinvigorate your sexual intimacy.

Health and Wellness Solutions

Diet, exercise, and sleep can hugely affect your sex drive. Managing stress and evaluating your lifestyle can help you naturally boost your libido. 

First, assess your diet. What you eat and drink determines your energy levels and mood, which can affect your sex drive. Lower your alcohol intake and incorporate foods such as avocado, berries, oysters, and other aphrodisiacs to try boosting your libido. 

Next, review your movement. Exercise boosts your mood, helps reduce stress, and can increase your self-confidence, all of which can boost your libido. So make sure you’re getting enough exercise. 

Finally, prioritize sleep. Sleep plays a huge role in your libido. Without quality sleep, you can feel stressed or irritated. If you’re struggling with sleep or insomnia, consider taking melatonin or talking with your doctor. 

Emotional Intimacy Solutions

The 6 Pillars of Intimacy® are all interconnected. This means that cracks in one pillar can affect any (or all) of the others. 

Emotional intimacy underlies all the other five pillars.

When you and your spouse feel disconnected in your emotional intimacy, you may feel unmotivated to prioritize physical and sexual intimacy. 

Addressing cracks in your Emotional Intimacy Pillar can help resolve the issue of mismatched libido in your marriage. 

Talk about your emotional intimacy. Make it a priority to connect daily through conversations, dates, and more. Identify the cracks in your emotional intimacy and find a solution together. 

You can even strengthen your emotional intimacy by speaking openly about the challenges of your mismatched libidos. The two of you will grow closer together when you approach the issue as a team rather than one against the other. 

Supplement Solutions

When mismatched libido becomes an issue in your marriage, supplements can help.

Vitamins and minerals can jumpstart your sex drive. Common supplements to boost libido include ginseng, ginkgo biloba, fenugreek, and Tribulus.

Another sexual arousal product for both men and women is PT-141 (also known as Bremelanotide).

PT-141 is a peptide made up of seven amino acids, and it helps boost arousal, desire, and ability to perform sexually. This supplement works on the central nervous system to stimulate blood flow to the areas that need it the most for intercourse. 

Supplements like PT-141 can help solve the problem of mismatched libido, especially if other products like Viagra or Cialis have lost their effectiveness over time. 

PT-141 is available as an injectable or intranasal spray through Katalyst Wellness. For more information about dosing protocols, frequency of use, and questions, reach out to the Katalyst Wellness team.

Rescue Your Marriage from Mismatched Libido

Mismatched libido can be confusing and frustrating, but it doesn’t have to wreck your sex life. If you and your spouse are dealing with this issue, know that you aren’t alone. 

Embrace vulnerability as you discuss actions you can take to strengthen your sexual intimacy. 

If you need personal help to have these conversations, apply for marriage coaching today. It can be hard to address mismatched libido, but ignoring it will only weaken your marriage. Get the conversation started with help from a marriage coach.  

If you have major concerns about low libido, seek guidance from a medical professional.

Watch the video below to rekindle the spark and restore the connection in your marriage today!

In the 6 Pillars of Intimacy®, you will discover secrets that have transformed countless marriages. Its ideas are simple, practical, and powerful. You’ll be inspired to look at your marriage through a new lens and be encouraged by its commonsense approach.

Alisa and Tony DiLorenzo's proven approach to building intimacy in marriage will help you experience deeper and richer levels of intimacy with your spouse – starting today. Click HERE to get your copy today!

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