As each year passes, you might feel like your marriage is growing stale. Maybe you’ve done the same dates over and over. Conversations that were once exciting now center around roles and responsibilities. Perhaps the two of you have the same fights without seeing progress. All of this leaves you wondering, “Is there anyway to reset my marriage?”


It’s no secret that marriage comes with certain challenges. One area that stumps many couples is how to keep their marriage feel fun and passionate over time.

Fortunately, transformation in your marriage can begin with a few simple steps. In fact, reigniting your marriage might be easier and quicker than you think.

Tips & Tricks for a Successful Marriage Reset

The foundation of a strong and beautiful marriage is The 6 Pillars of Intimacy®. Each pillar of intimacy—emotional, physical, financial, spiritual, recreational, and sexual—contributes to the health of your relationship. 

To reset your marriage successfully, you will need to address all of the pillars. This may be challenging if haven’t connected in one of these areas in a while. But marriages thrive when spouses take action and get intentional about all 6 Pillars of Intimacy®.

Keep in mind is that The 6 Pillars of Intimacy® in your marriage are not static. In other words, the actions you take (or don’t take!) each day will determine the strength of your marriage.

If you ignore one pillar, it will begin to develop cracks. And since all of the pillars are interconnected, a crack in one pillar can lead to challenges in any other of the pillars.

How to Reset Your Marriage in 7 Days

Whether the light of passion has gone out in your marriage or you want to take proactive steps to fire up your relationship, there is a proven method that can change everything. And it only takes one week.

Pick a week—any week—and commit to romancing your spouse daily using The 6 Pillars of Intimacy® as a framework.

You can modify the plan below to work for your schedule. Whether you focus on one pillar a day or incorporate multiple intimacies, your efforts can reignite closeness and connection (in other words, intimacy) between you and your spouse. This is the key ingredient of an extraordinary marriage.

Day One 

Start by writing a love note and placing it somewhere your spouse will find it. For example, put it in their lunchbox, on their steering wheel, inside their coat pocket, next to their toothbrush, or taped to their phone. 

Then, when you and your spouse return home for the day, greet them with a long, loving kiss to boost your physical intimacy. 

Finally, spend time cuddling before you go to sleep. Even better, sleep naked to experience the benefits of skin-to-skin contact throughout the night. 

Day Two

While your spouse is showering, warm up their towel in the dryer. These small acts of kindness can go a long way in strengthening your Emotional Intimacy Pillar.

At some point during the day, send flowers or a snack box to your spouse’s office. 

Later that night, discuss your financial goals, such as taking a vacation, purchasing a home, saving for retirement, or something else. Financial intimacy is more than telling each other about your purchases. Take time to dream together!  

Day Three

Before you part ways with your spouse in the morning, pray aloud over them. The area of spiritual intimacy feels very personal to many people. But as a married couple, your spiritual intimacy is a vital aspect of a strong and healthy marriage, so don’t ignore it. Praying with and for your spouse is a simple way to begin strengthening this pillar. 

During the day, call them to check in. Say their name throughout the call since this can release endorphins (the feel-good hormone) in their brain. 

When you or your spouse arrives home, surprise them with their favorite drink, snack, or sweet treat. 

Day Four

On this day, tell your spouse you love them in a creative way. For example, write the words in lipstick on the mirror or use chalk to draw a heart around your names on the driveway. 

Send them a sexy text or flirty picture while you’re apart to create excitement and anticipation. 

At night, explore your sexual intimacy together. Try a new position, incorporate toys, or go to a different room in your home. Communicate throughout the evening to ensure you are both comfortable and enjoying yourselves. 

Day Five

Start the morning by picking up coffee or your spouse’s favorite pastry or coffee. Make it extra special by bringing it to them in bed! 

In the evening, cook your spouse’s favorite meal. Bonus points if you work on the meal together and share loving touches as you move throughout the kitchen.  Then, dine by candlelight.

Day Six

Begin your day with a walk in your neighborhood or nearby park. As you hold hands and talk, you’ll be strengthening your physical and emotional intimacy. 

If the weather is dreary, break out your favorite board game, watch a new movie, or plan a day trip for when the weather is nice. Recreational intimacy is all about having fun, so enjoy this time together! 

Day Seven

Wrap up your week by soaking in each other’s presence. Snooze your alarms and spend the morning cuddling and sharing fond memories. 

To engage your spiritual intimacy, attend a church service (in person or online), read a devotional, or pray with each other. 

As you go about your day, keep The 6 Pillars of Intimacy® in mind. Vocalize your appreciation for your spouse. Exchange loving touches, and romance your spouse in ways that are meaningful to them. 

Creating Lasting Change in Your Marriage

By the end of this week, you’ll likely have learned several new things about yourself, your spouse, and your relationship. You will have strengthened each area of your marriage. And you’ll find that as you and your spouse deepen your closeness and connection, you can make the extraordinary happen. 

Of course, this is only the beginning. Long-lasting change in your marriage requires consistent effort and teamwork to experience the extraordinary marriage you desire.

If you need personal help improving your marriage, apply for marriage coaching today.

Watch the video below to rekindle the spark and restore the connection in your marriage today!

In the 6 Pillars of Intimacy®, you will discover secrets that have transformed countless marriages. Its ideas are simple, practical, and powerful. You’ll be inspired to look at your marriage through a new lens and be encouraged by its commonsense approach.

Alisa and Tony DiLorenzo's proven approach to building intimacy in marriage will help you experience deeper and richer levels of intimacy with your spouse – starting today. Click HERE to get your copy today!

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