I LOVE MY HUSBAND, BUT I’M NEVER IN THE MOOD

You can’t stand in the grocery store checkout line, browse the internet or sit on Facebook without some article popping up about how to improve your sex life.

Everywhere you go you’re inundated with:

• What you can do right now to please your man.
• How “this” one trick will give you the best orgasm.
• When to pour it on to be the super sexy wife.

But what if you simply do not desire to have sex?

You love your husband. There is no doubt about that. And yet what are you supposed to do when you just don’t want it anymore?

It is estimated that 40% of women experience sexual trouble at some point in their lives.

We’ve experienced this ourselves over our 25 years of marriage.

We’re part of that 40%. There have been many times when I just haven’t been in the mood, I’ve been to the doctor, I’ve read all of the articles, I’ve tried to talk myself into wanting sex more and yet…Nothing. Zip. Zilch.

It’s been frustrating for me and for Tony because when there’s no apparent medical issue, you begin to wonder what’s going on with me?

Why isn’t my body working?

And at that point I didn’t even know that this lack of desire had a name or that anything could be done.

If at some point in time you’ve experienced this yourself then there’s a good chance that you know what I’m talking about. I didn’t know that if this lasts 6 months or longer and it is bothering you, it could be Female Sexual Dysfunction (FSD).

Who knew?

Well… if you have Female Sexual Dysfunction then you may experience:

• Arousal problems
• Orgasmic problems
• Desire problems
• Sexual pain disorders

I’m not talking about problems stemming from medications, illness or other physical limitations.

What I am talking about here is an otherwise healthy woman who no longer has the desire or possibly has low libido with no apparent cause and really wants to want it again.

When you have low libido that causes distress this is one of the most common forms of FSD and it’s often referred to as Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder (HSDD). HSDD is characterized by low sexual desire that causes distress and is not due to a co-existing medical or psychiatric disorder, medication or relationship problems.

When this is happening to you, you don’t know what to do or what you can do.

While I have not been diagnosed with HSDD, I can totally relate with the feeling of low desire, never in the mood, and not knowing who to turn to or what to do.

Most women that I’ve talked to who have experienced this think about talking to their doctor, but very few do. Why? You know that this is horribly unfair and yet it also may seem normal. You want better for yourself, your spouse and your marriage but it’s hard to have the conversation.

Here are a few things you can do to start addressing this:

1. Read The Vagina Bible
2. Make an appointment with your health care provider
3. Get a hormone blood test
4. Make adjustments to your diet
5. Deal with resentment and unforgiveness with coaching

When you’re never in the mood this can wreak havoc on a marriage.

When you don’t have the arousal or desire to want sex this can cause feelings of disconnect, resentment and even rejection.

But just like everything in your marriage, you have to be intentional and you have to take action to see change. What you are experiencing doesn’t have to be an ongoing source of distress in your marriage.