These days, smartphones, screens, and technology are ever-present. So it’s no surprise that most couples feel like phone addiction threatens their marriage.


According to a recent survey, a staggering 68% of couples in the ONE Family feel like they struggle with phone addiction themselves. Even more glaring, a whopping 78% believe their spouse is battling the same addiction.

This isn’t just harmless scrolling. Phone addiction is a real threat to the foundation of your marriage.

And unless you take action, it will likely only get worse.

Now, it might feel like the odds are stacked against you. So let’s explore the ins and outs of phone addiction, how it impacts your marriage, and what you can do to get your phone usage under control.

Understanding Phone Addiction

Your phone is designed to keep you coming back for more. The endless notifications, fun games, and addictive apps hijack your brain’s dopamine levels, sending them skyrocketing each time you flip over your phone and see a new alert.

In reality, phone addiction can sneak up on you. And since the goal of these apps is to keep you entertained for as long as possible, it’s not entirely your fault.

But here’s the thing: it’s your job to take phone addiction seriously. Ignoring it won’t make it go away—it’ll only get worse over time. And it will continue to impact your marriage.

Not sure if you or your spouse have a phone addiction? Here are some questions to assess the relationship you have with your phone:

  • Are you spending too much time on your phone?
  • Do you take your phone everywhere you go?
  • Have you ever felt “phantom vibrations”?
  • Do you regularly glance at your phone when someone is talking to you?
  • Has using your phone ever led to an injury, such as a car accident or a fall?
  • Do you stay up late because you’re on your phone?
  • Have you ever tried to limit your phone usage but quickly gave up?

Be honest with yourself as you consider these questions. Additionally, consider how your phone habits affect your spouse and others around you.

If you or your spouse are struggling with a phone addiction, it’s time to take action.

How Phone Addiction Impacts Your Marriage

Phone addiction can be a poison to your marriage. It might taste sweet, but it slowly creates cracks in your 6 Pillars of Intimacy®. As a result, it disconnects you from your spouse.

Here are some examples of how phone addiction can weaken each Pillar of Intimacy® in your marriage:

Emotional Intimacy

Physical Intimacy

Spiritual Intimacy

  • You’re distracted during church or small group by notifications or messages.
  • Instead of using free time to pray together or read a devotional, you spend it on your phone.

Financial Intimacy

  • You’re spending money on digital games or apps that aren’t in the budget.
  • Being on your phone lures you into excessive online shopping.

Recreational Intimacy

  • Date nights are ruined by constant glances at screens.
  • You can’t remember the last time you spent quality time with your spouse when you were fully focused on each other.
  • Activities that used to be fun to you now feel boring because nothing is as fun as your phone.

Sexual Intimacy

  • Low emotional intimacy leads to less desire for sex.
  • Distractions and disconnection caused by phone addiction make it challenging to connect sexually.

Not only does phone addiction threaten your marriage, but it can cause your spouse to feel isolated, rejected, and frustrated. Over time, these emotions can turn into resentment, which undermines the foundation of your relationship.

For some spouses, it feels like they have been replaced by a phone or digital device. In fact, only 59% of married adults whose spouse is often on the phone feel “very happy” with their marriage, compared to 81% of those who don’t have this issue.

You and your spouse both deserve to experience an extraordinary marriage. But you’ll need to make some changes to achieve that goal.

Repairing the Damage Caused By Phone Addiction

Phone addiction is a serious issue, but there is hope.

First, you have to recognize that phone addiction is a real problem.

Start by talking with your spouse about how phone addiction is impacting your marriage. Share how you feel when your spouse chooses to look at their device instead of into your eyes. Discuss the ways phones have affected date nights or sexual encounters.

Then, set shared boundaries for your phones. Remember, you have power over your device!

Set some boundaries, such as limiting screen time or charging your phone outside the bedroom. You can declare certain areas—such as your bedroom or kitchen table—as phone-free zones. There are plenty of apps and resources to help hold you accountable to using your phone more responsibly.

As with any addiction, you may need to exchange your behavior with something else; otherwise, you’re likely to fall right back into the same bad habits. So instead of spending hours on your phone each night, plan to go on walks with your spouse or schedule some fun activities together. Another idea is to write out a list of movies, books, or podcasts that you can enjoy together and discuss afterward.

Get More Help

Phone addiction can be destructive to your marriage when left unchecked, especially if one spouse refuses to acknowledge or address their unhealthy habits. In those instances, professional help may be necessary.

Apply for marriage coaching to get personal help for your situation.

By acknowledging the problem and taking proactive steps to address it, you can protect your closeness and connection (in other words, intimacy).

So, put down your phone, look into your spouse’s eyes, and prioritize real connection over digital distraction.

Your marriage (and spouse!) will thank you for it.

Watch the video below to rekindle the spark and restore the connection in your marriage today!

In the 6 Pillars of Intimacy®, you will discover secrets that have transformed countless marriages. Its ideas are simple, practical, and powerful. You’ll be inspired to look at your marriage through a new lens and be encouraged by its commonsense approach.

Alisa and Tony DiLorenzo's proven approach to building intimacy in marriage will help you experience deeper and richer levels of intimacy with your spouse – starting today. Click HERE to get your copy today!

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