Conversation is essential in your marriage.
The joy, pleasure and connection it brings to you and your spouse is amazing. Yet, when it comes to truly connecting emotionally, getting past the surface talk, and into the deep intimate conversations…
Well, it’s been awhile.
OK, maybe you’ve had a deep conversation more than once since those early days when you first met.
But there is still a lack of connection that you desire in your marriage.
The reason is that you and your spouse connect very differently. You sense it.
We are no different…
The first 10 years of our marriage we would clash like oil and water when we would try to take our conversations to a deeper level.
Tony would ask question after question, waiting for a reply. Pressing for an answer.
Alisa would sit there, get frustrated and shut down. It was like a power outage of epic proportions.
Not a healthy way to move past the surface talk and into deeper conversation.
Even though you and your spouse may have different ways that you express your desires once you understand this connecting becomes easier.
On our weekly podcast, ONE Extraordinary Marriage Show, we hear from many of our listeners that the struggle for a deeper intimacy is real.
Believe us when we say it’s tough to get started.
We get it, it’s hard to know where to start the conversation. It feels awkward and uncomfortable.
To help you get started on what to talk about check out 101 Proven Questions for Couples.
These questions will help the both of you discuss areas beyond work, the kids, and other activities.
Schedule time on your calendar for your marriage. It’s important that you both realize how vital this is to your marriage.
By putting each other on your calendars and holding to this time it shows the value you place on your spouse and your marriage.
Find a morning, afternoon, or an evening to go through these questions. Pick one to start off and progress from there.
Of the utmost importance is that both of you are taking time to honestly answer each question.
This isn’t a contest to get through all the questions as quickly as possible. In fact try just one or two questions a day. Listen to your spouse as they open up about their desires are for your marriage.
You may feel out of place or awkward when you start asking and answering these questions about sex, finances, spirituality, friends, family, and much more.
It’s normal and OK.
If you desire to have a deeper connection as well as more passion and romance with your spouse then you need to take off the masks.
For more advice on how to strengthen your marriage, check out He Zigs, She Zags: Get Your Communication on the Same Path today!