KIM HAD CRAZY DIVORCE CONDITIONS
WARNING: This story might break your heart!
It was a Tuesday night.
Steve was poking at his Lo Mein, stalling for time but finally said “I’ve got something to tell you.”
Kim sat there quietly, calmly eating her dinner. Steve could see the hurt in her eyes.
For a moment he had second thoughts about speaking, but he forced himself to say it.
“I want a divorce.”
Kim didn’t seem to be annoyed or shocked, she simply, softly responded, “why?”
Steve avoided her question, which made her angry.
Kim slammed her chopsticks on the table and snapped at Steve, “you can’t even be a man!”
That night, they didn’t talk to each other.
Kim was weeping, Steve knew she wanted to know what had happened to their marriage, but he couldn’t give her an acceptable answer.
Steve was in love with Joan.
Joan owned a coffee shop café near his office.
Their conversations over the counter soon became conversations at the café and one thing led to another.
Although Steve and Joan had carried on this relationship for almost a year, they had not been sexually intimate yet. Regardless, he no longer felt any love for his wife Kim…he just pitied her and wanted out.
A week or so later, with a deep sense of guilt, Steve presented Kim with a divorce agreement offering Kim the house, the car, and a 30% stake of his company.
Kim glanced at it and then tore it into pieces.
Steve felt sorry for her. The years together now seemed like wasted time, resources, and energy but he could not take back what he had said. All he could think of was his love for Joan.
That night, after their son was asleep, Kim broke down and cried so loudly that Steve could hear her from the living room couch.
The next day, he left early and came back home very late.
Kim was writing something at the table.
He was tired and didn’t care what she was doing, so he sprawled out on the couch and fell asleep.
In the morning, Kim had already left to drive their son to school and Steve found a neatly written letter on the coffee table.
It was Kim’s divorce conditions.
She didn’t want any possessions or money.
All she requested was that Steve give her one month before signing the divorce papers.
And that during that month, they both would try to live as normal a life as possible.
Her reasons were simple: their son had his 5th-grade graduation in a month’s time, and she didn’t want to disrupt that with their broken marriage.
This was agreeable to Steve, but it was her next request that threw him.
Kim wanted Steve to recall how he had carried her into their bridal room on their wedding day.
She requested that every day for the month’s duration, he sleep in the bedroom and carry her out of their bedroom to the front door every morning.
Steve figured she was going crazy, but just to make their last days together bearable he accepted her odd request.
Steve told Joan about his wife’s divorce conditions and she laughed loudly. Thinking it was absurd.
“No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce,” she said scornfully.
When Steve carried her out on the first day, it was the first contact they had in weeks.
It was clumsy. Steve struggled a bit to maneuver.
From the bedroom, through the hallway, to the living room, then to the door, Steve walked over 30 feet with Kim in his arms. Their son clapped as he saw the odd scene.
Kim closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce.
He nodded, feeling somewhat upset, and gently put her down outside the door.
Kim put her hand on her son’s shoulder and they walked out to her car to head to school, Steve drove alone to the office.
Over the next three days, things went smoother.
On day four, Kim leaned her head on Steve’s chest. He could smell the sweet fragrance of her perfume.
He realized that he hadn’t looked at her carefully for a long time.
There were fine wrinkles forming on her face, she had a few gray hairs.
For a minute, he wondered just how his actions had taken a toll on her.
On the eighth day, when he lifted her up, something strange happened.
He felt a sense of intimacy returning.
This was the woman who had given 15 years of her life to him.
On the ninth and tenth days, that sense of intimacy was stronger.
Steve was conflicted by these feelings, but he didn’t tell Kim or Joan.
With each day, the physical act of carrying Kim became easier.
Steve attributed it to the workout making him stronger.
One morning, about three weeks in, Kim was choosing what to wear.
Steve watched as she tried on a few dresses. Nothing seemed to fit right.
When she sighed, “all my dresses have grown bigger” Steve suddenly realized Kim had become thinner, maybe that was the reason he could carry her more easily.
Had she buried so much pain and hurt that it robbed her of her appetite?
Subconsciously, he reached out and touched her shoulder with compassion.
Their son came in at the moment and said, “Dad, we’re gonna be late! It’s time to carry mom out.”
This morning ritual had become an essential part of his life.
Kim gestured to their son to come closer and hugged him tightly.
Steve turned his face away; worried he might start to cry.
As their son bounded out the door calling “C’mon Dad” he picked Kim up, held her in his arms, and walked from the bedroom, through the hallway, through the living room, to the door.
Kim’s hand surrounded his neck softly… naturally… like it was made to be there.
He held her body tightly; it was just like their wedding day.
But he noticed how much lighter she felt and that made him sad.
On the last day of the agreed-upon month, Steve picked Kim up and stood there, staring at the bedroom door.
She rested her head on his chest, eyes closed, and said nothing.
There she was, in his arms all he had to do was move. But taking the first step seemed impossibly hard.
Their son had spent the night at a friend’s house, so he had no one cheering him to get moving.
He realized this would be the last time he carried her like this, and for the life of him, he couldn’t understand why the thought of that hurt.
This was the end. All he had to do was finish this last 30-foot trip and she’d sign the papers.
He’d be free to start his new life with Joan.
Steve put one foot in front of the other and started walking, but his steps were slower and his grip on her was different… almost desperate.
He was completely aware of how blind he’d been to their lack of intimacy.
When he got to the front door, he set her down and watched as she drove off to go grocery shopping.
He hopped in his car, drove to Joan’s coffee shop, and jumped out without even locking the door.
Any delay might make him change his mind.
He walked inside, went in the back to Joan’s little office, and before she could even say hello, blurted out, “I’m sorry, Joan, I do not want the divorce anymore. I need to end things between us.”
She looked at him, astonished, and touched his forehead laughingly saying “Do you have a fever?”
Steve moved her hand off his head.
“Sorry, Joan, I won’t divorce Kim. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that.
I carried her into our home on our wedding day, I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.”
Joan seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave Steve a slap across the face, pushed him out of her little office, and burst into tears.
Steve walked out, got in his car, and drove away.
On the way home, Steve called a florist to order a bouquet of flowers for his wife.
The salesgirl asked him what to write on the card. He responded, “I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.”
That evening he arrived home, flowers in his hands, and a smile on his face.
His wife Kim was sitting with a glass of wine and an open letter at the table. She had been crying.
Steve asked what was wrong and she handed him the paper.
It was an oncology report.
Kim explained that something had shown up on her annual blood test months ago and she had been referred to an oncologist to undergo multiple medical tests.
She was losing weight, fatigued, had muscle weakness, and was sure she had cancer.
On top of all that, she had been obsessively searching for symptoms on Google and was fully convinced she would die before Steve even followed through with the divorce.
Her goal was to help their son to remember his dad as a loving husband.
Steve had been so disconnected, so busy with Joan that she never told him, and he never even noticed.
Steve looked at the letter and it said she was clear. No cancer.
Turns out she had a treatable condition called Hyperthyroidism.
“Kim, I don’t understand. This says you’re going to be okay. Why are you upset?”
She burst into tears and said; “My plan failed. I’m going to survive, but you’re going to leave, and our son is going to suffer – and I still love you, you big dummy!”
Steve got down on one knee, handed her the flowers, and said,
“No sweetheart, your plan worked better than you could have imagined…”
It made Steve realize what had been missing in their marriage and that he had been a fool.
Fortunately, Kim and Steve’s story had a happy ending.
But there are so many reasons why it could have ended differently.
Many marriages can’t recover from emotional infidelity.
Had there actually been sexual infidelity, who knows what their fate would have been?
But Steve had a moment of clarity when he realized the lack of intimacy in the marriage.
That is something that can be fixed.
On Sunday, we announced the release of our at-home, marriage strengthening, and restoration kit.
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Love you guys,
Tony & Alisa
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