This week we challenge you to remember the little things that really aren’t so little…manners.

When you ask your spouse to do something for you, say please.

It’s only one extra word but a powerful one, one that eliminates the control in the relationship.

When your spouse does something for you, say thank you.  Acknowledge the action and the fact that it has made your life easier.

When you hear the words “thank you” say you’re welcome.  Marriage is a two way street and so is communication.  When you are thanked, reciprocate and say you’re welcome.

We cannot take our spouses or our marriages for granted.  Everyone wants to feel appreciated and these three simple phrases, please, thank you, and you’re welcome, go a long way to making our marriages a place where both people feel cherished.

Show your spouse how much you appreciate them.

How do you acknowledge what your spouse does for you?  What do you say (or do) to show your appreciation?

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11 thoughts on “MANNERS IN MARRIAGE

  1. I acknowledge with a lot of thank yous. Usually punctuated with hugs and sometimes, a reciprocation of “is there anything I can do for You?” And we keep it all pretty conversational, not monumental. But then we're both service love languages, so the doing and the recognizing is second nature for us.

  2. Manners are essential in any relationship…even the one you have with your children! I know that when my husband acknowledges what I do by saying “Thank You” it means a lot and makes me want to keep doing things that make his life easier.
    Table manners are another way that you can show respect towards your spouse! But that is for another blog!

  3. I like how the two of you take the next step after the spoken word. A hug, kiss, or snuggle after these words can add a lot to the no verbal communication that happens in our marriages. My love language is act of service, but Alisa's is words of affirmation. So, for me I need to remember to add the compliments throughout the week.


  4. Great post! Manners seem so elementary… almost like a given, but they are so critical.

    “We cannot take our spouses or our marriages for granted.” – I couldn't agree more!

  5. Shannon,

    Your comment about manners being elementary, a given…makes me wonder what other things are elementary in marriage and yet don't get the attention they deserve. I'm going to have to think about that for another blog.


  6. Outstanding insights Tony and Alisa! The gals in my Bible study and I were recently talking about this and how easy it is to take our spouse for granted. It never ceases to amaze me when I meet husbands and wives who treat their friends better than they treat their spouses. A good point that builds on the issue of manners and respect is to really learn your spouse's love languages. My husband is so good at showing love through acts of service, but this is one of my lowest ways of receiving love. So, I need to really pay attention (which is good!), and I have made a point to be very intentional about saying “thank you” (when he washes my car, fills it with gas, etc.). Sounds simple? But it does take effort… the more we build that relational muscle, the more it becomes our natural bent to use it. Thanks again!

  7. Julie thanks you for your insights on how you respond to your husband even when he isn't using your love language. What is yours by the way? I'm acts of service and Alisa is words of affirmation and you know what when we use these it makes a difference. But, when using our love languages and not getting a “Thank You” it's sometimes tough to continue on. You bring up something that is so true, “the more we build that relational muscle, the more it becomes our natural bent to use it.” You are right on with this!!!

  8. Say “I love you”. All the time. Life is short and we never know if we’ll get another chance to say “I love you”. So say it all the time. Even when you’re angry, say something like, “Gosh, I’m really hurt and upset right now, but I love you.”