Menopause, Marriage, and Motherhood: How the Perimenopause Season Affects Relationships

I always thought menopause was just something that happened to me. What I didn’t consider is how much those changes in my body would affect my relationships. Between marriage and motherhood, menopause affects all of your relationships.

Menopause and My Husband 

Perimenopause symptoms made it difficult to feel close and connected to my husband, Tony. 

Weight gain subconsciously made me feel less sexy. With each pound I gained, I was less and less willing to let Tony see me naked. On top of that, vaginal dryness and low sex drive started to change our sexual intimacy. My body didn’t react to Tony’s touch the same way it used to. As a result, we both felt frustrated. 

Hot flashes and night sweats left me so uncomfortable. I didn’t want to cuddle. I didn’t want Tony to touch me. When I looked in the mirror, I felt like a stranger in my own body. 

My mood swings and irritability impacted our emotional intimacy. I was grappling with all these changes and didn’t know how to communicate them. Tony, of course, couldn’t understand what I was going through. 

When you’re experiencing so many changes while your husband’s body stays more or less the same, resentment can start to creep in. It’s hard to keep that resentment at bay. 

Menopause and Family Relationships

Amid all my physical changes, my relationship with my parents and in-laws began to change too. They were getting older. We started having conversations about what the future had in store. 

Suddenly, I felt like our roles had swapped. I was now responsible for helping take care of them. More and more, they needed my help.

At the same time, my kids were becoming more independent. They didn’t need me in the ways I was used to or expected. Their challenges were bigger and more complicated. 

Between my parents and my kids, I felt like I was always giving, giving, giving… 

With so many changing family dynamics, I started questioning who I was—as a wife, a daughter, and a mother.  

Menopause and My Friends 

But my perimenopause symptoms impact more than just my relationship with Tony and our family. When I looked at my circle of friends, I wondered, “Am I the only one dealing with this?” 

(Of course, I now realize how many women around me had silently suffered through menopause.) 

No one wants to talk about what’s happening in our bodies. And yet, nearly all of us will go through a similar experience. 

Once I realized how isolated I had become, I knew I needed to do something different. 

I needed to be around other women who were willing to talk about these “taboo” topics, such as hot flashes, changing family dynamics, and vaginal dryness. 

I needed encouragement from women who were a few years ahead of me that things would get better. 

And as time went on, I wanted to share my experience and breakthroughs with other women so they wouldn’t have to experience the loneliness and confusion that I did. 

Introducing Menopause Shouldn’t Suck…

A supportive community and expert guidance to help you navigate menopause with confidence—addressing your physical symptoms, emotional wellbeing, and relationships.

Finally, a place where you’re understood and empowered with practical tools to thrive, not just survive, in this season of life.

You’re not crazy. And you’re not alone.

Even if your mother never warned you and your doctor dismissed your concerns, here’s what we know: You’re not crazy, you’re not alone, and you don’t have to just “push through” this season of life.

Learn to navigate this next chapter of your life when you join me in Menopause Shouldn’t Suck.

Alisa