NEW YEAR, NEW MARRIAGE: HOW TO TAKE ACTION AND SEE CHANGE

This week, countless people will set New Year’s resolutions about their health, career, marriage, and more. It’s only natural to capitalize on the burst of motivation that accompanies a new year. 

New Year’s Resolutions Marriage

Maybe you’re part of the crowd that’s excited about the potential of the new year. You know what’s possible for your marriage and are ready to go after it. Or perhaps a challenging year has left you feeling drained and discouraged in your marriage. 

No matter how you feel as the New Year approaches, you have the power to transform all areas of your marriage—emotional, physical, financial, spiritual, recreational, and sexual. 

As you’re setting your New Year’s resolutions, ask yourself: What’s the vision for your marriage? 

Step 1: Reflect on the Past Year

First, reflect on where your marriage has been in the last year. Examine the highs and lows. Think back on your wins and your struggles. 

You deserve to celebrate everything that you and your spouse are doing well. At the same time, take note of the cracks.

Cracks can show up in any pillar of intimacy. Right now, you might be experiencing intense brokenness or disconnection. Perhaps you and your spouse need healing, restoration, or forgiveness. Maybe you simply need to make each other a priority again. 

As you reflect on this year, determine what you did well and what needs improvement. Then, cast a vision for the future.  

Step 2: Imagine Your Future

To take action and see change, you have to create a plan. If you can pinpoint your goals, you’re more likely to hit them rather than going into the new year just hoping for the best.

So look to the future. What would it look like for you and your spouse to have an extraordinary marriage? 

Consider each of The 6 Pillars of Intimacy®. What does extraordinary emotional intimacy look like in your marriage? How about extraordinary spiritual intimacy?

Ask this question about each pillar and discuss specific desired changes with your spouse. 

Emotional Intimacy

Emotional intimacy is the closeness and connection between spouses created through sharing feelings, thoughts, and desires.

Cracks can form for many reasons, including broken trust, shallow conversations, or a lack of vulnerability. 

To see change, talk with your spouse about the actions you can take to strengthen your emotional intimacy. You may need to prioritize your time together by putting away your phone or leaving your house to connect. You can also take a trip down memory lane by reminiscing about your early days as a couple or looking at old photos. Find solutions that work for you. 

Physical Intimacy 

Physical intimacy is the closeness and connection created through your loving touch, such as kissing, cuddling, holding hands, and more. 

When things got busy this year, did you and your spouse resort to simple pecks rather than passionate kisses? Did you sit on opposite ends of the couch rather than cuddled up beside each other? 

If you feel disconnected in your physical intimacy, talk with your spouse about ways to increase the frequency and intensity of loving touches in your marriage. 

Financial Intimacy

Financial intimacy is about being close and connected in every financial aspect of your marriage, including day-to-day finances, insurance, retirement, and more.

Hidden debt, secret spending, and avoiding conversations about money can lead to cracks. 

It’s up to you how you strengthen your financial intimacy, but you can start by getting on the same page with your spouse.

What are your money goals? You may want to get out of debt or make a large purchase this year. Or perhaps you want to be more generous or save more money.

Write out your goals and determine the steps you need to take to reach them this year. 

Spiritual Intimacy

Spiritual intimacy encompasses all your religious beliefs and observed religious practices.

While many people consider faith to be personal, spiritual intimacy can actually be more intimate than sex. 

If you’re setting personal New Year’s resolutions for your spirituality, consider making them marriage goals too.

Invite your spouse into your faith walk. Read the Bible together, pray for and with each other, and worship together. 

Recreational Intimacy

Recreational intimacy is about what you and your spouse do together for fun.

Many things can get in the way of recreational intimacy, such as working long hours, tight finances, and young children. If you and your spouse feel disconnected in your recreational intimacy, it’s time to take action. 

What does stronger recreational intimacy look like for you? Do you need to get outside your comfort zone to try new things and be adventurous? Do you need to hire a babysitter once a month so you can enjoy yourselves with peace of mind? Figure out the solution and put a plan in place. 

Sexual Intimacy

Sexual intimacy encompasses your sexual connection with your spouse, including romance, initiation, foreplay, and intercourse.

What does extraordinary sexual intimacy look like to you? 

To strengthen your sexual intimacy, discuss your options, such as scheduling sex, increasing your frequency, or trying new positions, lubes, and toys.

If you want to create change, learn about the intimacy lifestyle or consider doing a sex challenge. A little intentionality can go a long way. 

Step 3: Write it All Down

Don’t keep your plan stuck in your head.

After you’ve determined your goals with your spouse, write them down or create a vision board. Make it tangible. Put your goals somewhere you can see them, like in your bathroom, on your fridge, or set as your phone background.

Every time you see your goals, they’ll remind you to be intentional about the actions you need to take. 

Step 4: Check Your Mindset

Many people set ambitious New Year’s resolutions that quickly fail; don’t let your marriage goals slip away too. You might need to adjust your mindset.

If you don’t believe you can improve your marriage, you’ll give up when things get difficult. You must commit to your goals and push through obstacles if you want to see change. 

Over the next 365 days, you can take consistent steps to restore and strengthen your marriage. While it might not be easy, it will be worth it. 

More than a New Year’s Resolution for Your Marriage

Now is the time to talk with your spouse about the changes you want to see in your marriage. Don’t disqualify yourself by thinking that your spouse won’t be interested. Be brave and start the conversation.

Even if your spouse isn’t on board, ask yourself what you can do to shift things. With a positive mindset, you can accomplish beyond what you can imagine.

This is about more than just making New Year’s resolutions to improve your marriage; it’s about taking action to create the extraordinary marriage that you desire. 

Experience Breakthrough in the New Year

Do you want to make a change in the new year but don’t know where to start? The 6-Day Intimacy Breakthrough is a digital course with interactive worksheets designed to help you and your spouse identify cracks in your marriage paired with simple yet effective daily exercises to improve your connection.

The 6-Day Intimacy Breakthrough is your roadmap to experiencing deeper and richer levels of intimacy with your spouse. Get started today and make your marriage extraordinary.

Watch the video below to rekindle the spark and restore the connection in your marriage today!

In the 6 Pillars of Intimacy®, you will discover secrets that have transformed countless marriages. Its ideas are simple, practical, and powerful. You’ll be inspired to look at your marriage through a new lens and be encouraged by its commonsense approach.

Alisa and Tony DiLorenzo's proven approach to building intimacy in marriage will help you experience deeper and richer levels of intimacy with your spouse – starting today. Click HERE to get your copy today!

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