In our society the TV has portrayed and told you what marriage should be.

Couple watching tv

The screenwriters in Hollywood have been conditioning you that marriage, love, romance, and sex are happening all the time in this most amazing ways.

If you are looking at porn you also have an unrealistic view of sex and marriage.

We get it because we fell into this trap years ago.

What we were watching wasn’t matching our marriage and it caused frustration, arguments, and a lack of desire toward one another.

Over the years we have seen many of movies that have the husband saying the perfect words. He sweeps his bride off her feet and all is well. This video is a perfect example of how Hollywood says “I love you”.

What emotional feelings did you get from watching the video?

Wives, while watching it did you wish that you could be swept off your feet, kissed at the stroke of midnight, and held for hours?

Husbands, did you want to be able to say the perfect words so you could have that long kiss, have passionate sex, and know that you are desired by your wife?

News flash! Your marriage is not a 30-minute sitcom. You live in the real world where real events happen that impact you, your spouse and your family. We know that you experience joy, love, laughter, passion, and much more in your marriage. The thing is do you recognize those times when you are faced with difficulties?

When you begin to believe that what you watch in 30-minutes snippets should be happening in your marriage each and every day there is a problem brewing in your life. Truthfully, you have times that could resemble a sitcom and yet you have times when it’s nothing like it.

You have to remember that there are lots of amazing events that have happened and are happening in your marriage. It’s taking those times and slowing down to enjoy them. You’re rushing around so fast that you miss these moments. It’s time to slow down and dwell in these moments.

How-to Slow Down

  • Take three deep breathes as you close your eyes
  • After you take your deep breathes open your eyes and be in the moment as you look at your spouse. Don’t reach for your phone, computer, tablet, or book.
  • Physically connect by holding hands, hugging, or giving each other a kiss. (Not sexual) Be there with your spouse, enjoying each others presence.

It’s during these times that you need to remind yourself that your marriage isn’t scripted by screenwriters in some office, but by an amazing God who loves you dearly. (John 16:27) He is watching over you and your marriage as you live a marriage not on the TV screen, but here on Earth.

Your marriage isn’t on the TV screen, but if you have kids the two of you are showing them what a really marriage is all about. Remember that your actions are telling a story to those around you and they are watching. Make each episode one that shows how each of you love one another.

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  1. “You’re rushing around so fast that you miss these moments. It’s time to slow down and dwell in these moments.” Love this! There is a quote I love, “Enjoy the little things in life… For one day you’ll look back and realize they were the big things.”

    • You’re a spot on with this Marvin. Marriage does take an investment on both the part of the husband and wife. Everything looks so easy on TV that we forget that we live in the day-to-day. It’s by stepping away from “happily ever after” land that we realize the effort it takes.

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts.

  2. I have often thought that one of the biggest disservices TV does is make people think that problems can be solved quickly. It only takes 24 minutes for a sitcom couple to identify and resolve an issue. We have seen this so much that we tend to become very impatient when communication is difficult, when progress is slow, when some problems don’t get solved, etc. We think there is something wrong with the relationships when the real problem is with our artificially-created expectations.

  3. Well said Rosemary. Communication issues are one of the biggest areas that most couples face. We hear it often that if this area was resolved it would make the marriage many times better. The problem is that the artificially-created expectations have to be realized for couples to move forward and grow their marriage and themselves.

    Thanks for sharing your insights as they are greatly appreciated.