how to rekindle intimacy in marriage

Many people misinterpret the term “sexual intimacy,” only thinking of the act of sex and forgetting about everything that goes along with it. However, sexual intimacy encompasses everything about your sexual connection with your spouse.

Your sexual intimacy is the romance, initiation, foreplay, and sexual intercourse you have with one another. There’s no two ways about it: Sex is h-e-a-l-t-h-y. But this intimacy goes way beyond, "Hey, wanna have sex?"

If you neglect your emotional intimacy your spouse can feel disconnected and probably will not want to have sex with you. If the only time you kiss or touch them is when you want them sexually, they will be distant during this special act you get to engage in together.

It is wise and important for both of you to make one another feel wanted and desired. When this happens each of you will experience a shift in your sex life. If you’re ready you can learn how to rekindle intimacy in marriage and have amazing sex with your spouse.

Make Romance Fun

Over the years you may have found that the romance in your marriage has petered out, which has led to a loss of sexual connection. Life gets in the way, and daily interactions can become routine and forced. The things you once did for your spouse have probably long faded, and the romance likely died along with those sweet gestures.

If your marriage is deficient in the romance department it may be time to bring back those small, but powerful, acts that you used to do for one another. These acts no matter how small can mean more than you realize.

Surprising your spouse with their favorite coffee in the morning, placing a note on their steering wheel or spreading rose petals on the bed before they get home will put a smile on their face and let them know you’re thinking about them.

If those small powerful gestures have gone by the wayside try these suggestions to romance your spouse over the next 30 days.

Make a Move to Initiate Sex

Does it feel like you are always the one who initiates sex? Maybe your spouse is the one who always does the initiating. Either way, if it’s always left up to one of you or the other to initiate one of you is the gatekeeper and the other is constantly rejected.

Your spouse needs to know that you desire them sexually. When you initiate sex with your spouse in your own way it’s a turn-on. Let your spouse know how you initiate, which helps them know what to look for. Over time your confidence will increase around initiating.

Letting your spouse know how much you desire them can make all the difference. Try one of these to start initiating:

  • Gently whisper something sexy in their ear while grabbing their butt at the same time.
  • Before a meal, grab your spouse by the hand and drag them to the bedroom, or initiate sex in the kitchen.
  • Have sex in a new place around the house or explore somewhere new.
    Or discover how to initiate sex with your wife or husband to get the creative juices flowing.

You can bring a new excitement to your love life. When you make initiating a priority in your marriage, you’ll begin to see a difference in your 6 Pillars of Intimacy.

Get Things Started with Foreplay

You have probably heard time and time again that foreplay is important, and it is very true.

And yet, do you really know how to incorporate foreplay into your marriage? What does foreplay look like for you and for your spouse? It’s needed as your bodies prepare for what’s ahead and yet it’s different for men and women.

Many people, when they picture foreplay, only think of the acts that immediately happen when a person decides they are ready to have sex. For example, a husband may lean in and kiss his wife’s neck and begin rubbing her leg to then go right into sex.

When this happens the build up, the desire to have one another, as well as your bodies preparing for sex is negated. There is nothing wrong with this approach per se, but foreplay is a special time of emotionally and physically intimate acts meant to create sexual arousal and desire.

Don’t just try to turn your spouse on when it’s convenient for you. Do little things to turn them on throughout the day, and they will be just as ready as you are by the time you make love. Here are a few ways how to rekindle intimacy in marriage:

  • Send texts telling your spouse how they turn you on.
  • Run your foot up their leg while the two of you are at dinner.
  • Place your hand on their inner thigh while you are driving.

These acts and those that you do together as you engage with one another will get you both ready for some fun when you come together to be sexually intimate.

Enjoy Amazing Sexual Intercourse

As you have read romance, initiation and foreplay are all vital aspects of keeping the sexual intimacy alive in your marriage. When you take each of these into account you will find that the time spent will lead to amazing sex with spouse.

Make sure that you continue to deepen your sexual connection before, during, and after sexual intercourse. When you do you’ll learn new things about your spouse and vise versa. As you share about what you enjoy doing, what you would like to try, and what isn’t working right now, the sexual intimacy deepens.

This can sometimes be tough to do through. You’re not sure what questions to ask one another afterwards. What if you had a list of questions that could help you get the conversation started?

Make sure to check out the 19 Questions to Amazing Sex. These questions are a great start for those who need to learn how to rekindle intimacy in marriage.

Sexual intimacy is important in your marriage and goes way beyond just the act of sexual intercourse. By being sexually intimate with one another and understanding the impact the 6 Pillars of Intimacy have on you and your marriage you can have the extraordinary marriage you desire.