THE IMPORTANCE OF SPIRITUAL INTIMACY IN YOUR MARRIAGE

Spiritual intimacy is an area of life that many consider very individual; however, in marriage, you and your spouse are one.

If you are dealing with something, it will affect your spouse. This is true even in the area of spiritual intimacy.

So understanding why and how to prioritize spiritual intimacy is essential for couples who want to experience an extraordinary marriage.

What is Spiritual Intimacy in Marriage?

Spiritual intimacy is one of The 6 Pillars of Intimacy®. It encompasses all your religious beliefs and observed religious practices.

Regardless of your religion (or whether you consider yourself religious at all), spiritual intimacy is an important part of a long-lasting marriage. What’s most important is for you and your spouse to define what the Spiritual Intimacy Pillar looks like to you.

Each couple is unique, and your upbringing and experiences will influence how you approach spiritual intimacy. Ultimately, the two of you must be intentional about making spiritual intimacy a priority. The result is a deep and powerful connection.

5 Strategies to Boost Spiritual Intimacy in Your Marriage

Members of the ONE Family represent a variety of beliefs and backgrounds. While some ideas may not resonate with you completely, use them as a launchpad for a conversation with your spouse to determine how you want to approach spiritual intimacy.

1. Pray Together

It’s one thing to pray for your spouse. You can learn about what is going on in their life when you ask how you can pray for them. Your spouse feels supported by your prayers.

But praying with your spouse takes spiritual intimacy in your marriage to a new level. It can be awkward or uncomfortable to pray out loud with your spouse. You might feel vulnerable or embarrassed. Becoming comfortable praying aloud may take time and practice, but it is worth it.

There is a deep intimacy that comes from being open with your spouse about your innermost fears, desires, struggles, and hopes. For many couples, spiritual intimacy can be more intimate than sex.

Prayer can unite you as a couple. You can pray together for each other and for other areas of your life, including your family, finances, career, and so much more. Prayer is an avenue through which you and your spouse can experience breakthrough and deep, intimate connection.

Start by having a conversation with your spouse. Determine when and how you might pray out loud together.

Prayer doesn’t have to happen at a specific time or for a specific length. Some couples prefer to pray in the morning; others prefer to pray at night. While one couple might pray together for a quick minute before walking out the door, another couple might spend an hour in prayer together. When and how you pray is up to you.

2. Read the Bible Together

Reading the Bible or a devotional with your spouse has many benefits.

First, it can encourage both of you in your faith. As you pour over Scripture or glean wisdom from a devotional, you grow in your own ways—and together.

Second, it sets aside a specific time to be with your spouse. You are connecting over a shared purpose and spending quality time together. Not only that, but the two of you are also spending time with God.

Third, having a routine to read the Bible with your spouse holds you accountable. There will undoubtedly be times when you feel too busy, too tired, or too stressed to sit down and read the Bible with your spouse. When this happens, your spouse can encourage you to stay consistent, and vice versa.

Fourth, studying the same material with your spouse will provide insight into how their mind works. As you discuss what you’ve read, you’ll learn more about how they think, what stands out to them, and how it affects them. This builds a deep connection between the two of you.

3. Attend Church Together

Similar to prayer, how and when you attend church is up to you. Consider the following questions to help determine how you want to engage with a church as part of your spiritual intimacy:

• Will you attend in person or online?
• Which service time on the weekend do you prefer?
• Will you go to a mid-week service?
• Is there a small group or Bible study you want to join?

Being part of a community of faith can have many unexpected benefits. It’s one thing to have friends, but it’s another thing to share your vulnerabilities with others and allow them to pray for you.

When you regularly attend a church or small group, you create opportunities to meet new friends and mentors. These people can encourage you and your spouse—individually and together—in your faith and in your marriage. In return, you and your spouse can be a blessing to others.

4. Worship Together

Another way to deepen your spiritual intimacy in your marriage is by worshiping with your spouse. You can worship together at church or put on worship music in the car or at home.

Sometimes, worshiping together may be simple. You and your spouse may sing or hum along to a song. The act of listening to the same song or hymn can create a special closeness with each other.

Other times, worship can be a powerful experience. You and your spouse might raise your hands, dance, kneel, or cry. In these moments, you are baring your souls to one another in a vulnerable and intimate way.

All kinds of worship experiences—whether plain or passionate or somewhere in the middle—can strengthen spiritual intimacy in your marriage.

5. Have Conversations About Faith Together

When was the last time you and your spouse discussed your spirituality? If you can’t remember (or your answer is “never”), perhaps it’s time to bring the topic up in conversation.

Consider going on a walk or sitting on your porch to share your thoughts and ask questions. Talk about how your upbringing affected your beliefs. Discuss what God has been saying to you recently or how you see Him at work in your life.

During this time, you and your spouse can practice being vulnerable and open. Conversations about faith can be challenging or awkward, but the resulting connection with your spouse is worth it.

Prioritizing Spiritual Intimacy in Marriage

As with most things in life, spiritual intimacy in your marriage will go through seasons.

In some seasons, you and your spouse might feel motivated to attend church each week, get involved with a small group, pray and read the Bible daily, and listen to worship music together. In other seasons, you might struggle with spiritual intimacy and feel cracks forming.

The 6 Pillars of Intimacy® are all connected, so they all matter. If you ignore spiritual intimacy in your marriage, you can weaken other pillars.

To keep your spiritual intimacy strong, turn to resources that will encourage you and your spouse. Jesus Changes Everything: 7 Key Teachings of Jesus to Live Your Best Marriage can help you unpack the beautiful messages of the gospel and learn how to apply them to your marriage.

Another resource to strengthen your spiritual intimacy is Called to Love: Experiencing Your Best Marriage Through the Words of Jesus. This book explores the words of Jesus that provide the blueprint on how to do marriage and experience the extraordinary marriage you desire.

Pick up these resources today to boost your spiritual intimacy.