I’m not into Valentine’s Day. Never have been and I don’t think I ever will.

It’s a Hallmark holiday in my opinion. Something put on our calendar to make us feel compelled to show our love, usually with gifts, to the one that matters most.

Our spouse.

My question is, shouldn’t we be showing our love  to our spouse everyday? Why is it that we need a Hallmark holiday to do this?

Here are 5 loving ideas for you to show your love to your spouse throughout the year.

1. Give a compliment when they least expect it. When was the last time you mentioned how beautiful your wife looks?  How about how well your husband barbecued dinner?

2. Spend time together. This isn’t just any time at home doing the chores, but quality time where the two of you are engaged in conversation, playing a board game, or walking along the beach.  Where can the two of you spend time together?

3. A little something that says I Love You. Even I realize that it would be marital suicide if I didn’t show my love to Alisa with a little something now and again.  If the urge strikes you go for it.  I like to go low key, a single flower, a home made card, or something small that shows my love for my wife.  What could you do to say I Love You through out the year?

4. Let me serve you. I like being served, but it is when I can serve Alisa with a loving heart that I’m transformed and our marriage explodes.  When I take the house old chores off of her plate it is amazing to see how that changes her outlook.  What can you do to serve your spouse?

5. Touches that make a difference. These are non-sexual touches that bring you closer together.  A hug, a kiss, holding hands, anything that has you sharing that physical touch.  There are many times that I will just give Alisa a hug in the middle of the kitchen, just because I love her.  What touches can spark excitement in your marriage?

I share this with you because I think there is so much emphasis put on one day that we forget the other 364 days of the year mean a lot too.  Get going and love everyday because everyday is Valentine’s Day.


I wanted to put my two cents in just in case some of you were wondering how I feel about his Valentine’s Day attitude…The truth is this, since I put more emphasis on my husband instead of my children and my never ending to do list, I have a husband who does something for me every day.  It might be as simple as washing the dishes or as romantic as leaving love notes headed to the bedroom where the mood has been set.  Either way, I know, every day that I am loved, and quite honestly don’t feel as if I am missing anything on Valentine’s Day.  Cherish your spouse through out the year and every day can be Valentine’s Day.


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8 thoughts on “VALENTINE’S DAY RANT

  1. I completely agree! Ever since we started doing things for each other every day (well, not every day since my husband works 48-hour shifts) our marriage has been completely transformed. I'd rather have 365 days of small gestures of love than one day of extravagance. I'm really enjoying your site, glad I found it.

  2. $214 for edible chocolate-dipped fruit. Wow, that's a lot of money. The cool thing that you mention is after you told Christine she let you know what she really wanted to do and you guys did it.

    The two of you have an extraordinary marriage and it's great to be a small part of it.

    The homemade cards are a big score. All of your girls are lucky.

  3. Awesome!!! Love what you two are doing. How has your marriage transformed since doing this? What was it before doing the 365 days of small gestures? The two of are making a point to do something that works for your marriage that is making it better each and every day. I hope folks read what you two are doing and run with it.

    Thanks for your comment. It has brought a smile to my face to know that you two have an extraordinary marriage.

  4. Before we were basically roommates. We've been together 8 years, married for 7 and we have 4 children, ages 5 and younger, with the youngest three being younger than three-years-old. My husband works 48-hour shifts as a firefighter and a few on-call 12-hour shifts as an er tech in a local hospital (so that I can stay home with the kids). On top of that, there has been infidelity in the past.

    Last June we were at the point where just bailing out was the brightest option, but we decided to give it a go for the kids. I prayed for a change of heart and started serving my husband – making his meals, packing his lunches, keeping the house clean, back rubs, little things. And after a while he saw it was genuine and started to reciprocate.

    And it's just so much better than it ever has been. We do things for each other just because we know that the other person will really appreciate it. He'll put the kids to bed for me or clean up after a meal or suggest I take a bath and relax, not because he enjoys cleaning, but because he knows that it will bless me. We are truly best friends again and enjoy a much deeper level of intimacy than ever . It's awesome.

  5. Nina,

    Thank you for sharing your story with us and what you did to make the change in your marriage. We had just finished recording this week's podcast, The Power of Prayer, when we saw your comment. We both believe in the power of prayer to change relationships, especially when we focus on change in ourselves. We love hearing what has happened in your marriage since that time and how you are experiencing an extraordinary marriage. It's great to hear how the two of you make the relationship work with four kids and a non-traditional work schedule. Keep doing the little things, they really do matter!

  6. Tony, Great post. I agree whole heartedly with you. Tina and I have been married 19 1/2 years and we love being creative all year long. Love your blog and podcasts… And I hope I'm not speaking out of turn when I say I lust your bike.

  7. Congrats on 19 1/2 years you guys. That is awesome! I have to ask any big plans for your 20 Year Anniversary? Alisa and I have talked about renewing our vows on our 20th Anniversary.

    It's cool to hear you talk about making cards and writing poems. These little things mean so much more than the over cost dozen roses you can buy on Valentine's Day. Including your daughters in this is also something us dad's who have daughters should be doing. Thanks for that reminder.

    Do you ride? The new bike is a nice one for sure. It wasn't that expensive either compared to what is out there these days. For those who haven't seen it check out the photos,….

    Thank for you post. It's always exciting to meet new folks.

  8. Personally, I don’t see anything wrong with couples celebrating Valentine’s Day for an extra date night. It definitely shouldn’t be about the “hallmark” part where couples feel they have to spend an excessive amount of money to get a gift and hop on social media to brag about what their spouse surprised them with. However, I completely agree that couples should treat each other like every day is Valentine’s Day vs once a year when it comes up on the calendar. How much better would relationship be, if couples dated each other often and did “Valentine’s Day” throughout the year vs once a year? The best gifts I’ve ever received from my spouse are unexpected and just because. I remember a lot more the “Honey, I’ll do the kids bedtime, so you can take a 30 min bath” or flowers just because more than Valentines and Christmas gifts. Not to say I don’t appreciate the gifts during designated holidays. There is something about my spouse giving me a gift or serving me unexpectedly that really makes me feel loved and special.