You finally did it. The kids were gone, the house got quiet, and you and your spouse started rediscovering each other. You went on date nights again, had long conversations, and maybe even left the bedroom door open.

And then… your 22-year-old moved back in.

Or your college student came home for the summer. Or their plans changed… again. And suddenly you’re somewhere in between empty nesting and full-on parenting, trying to figure out what the rules even are anymore.

You’re not alone. When we asked our ONE Family on Instagram “Do you have kids at home?” the responses flooded in:

• “You need an option for ‘was an empty nester then our 20-something moved back home’!”
• “College nesting is a weird place to be. Not quite kids at home, not quite empty nesters.”

If you’ve listened to us on the podcast, you know we’ve shared our own experience with this too.

So let’s talk about what this season actually does to your marriage. And more importantly, what you can do to protect and strengthen your 6 Pillars of Intimacy® through it.

Why the Boomerang Season Catches Couples Off Guard

Here’s the thing about the boomerang season: you already grieved the transition once. You adjusted and built new routines. And then the dynamic shifted again.

The biggest tension points we hear from couples in this situation:

• Privacy disappears again. Sexual intimacy takes a hit when you’re hyper-aware that someone else is in the house (especially a young adult who knows exactly what’s going on).
• Roles get muddy. Are you their parent? Their landlord? Their roommate? That ambiguity can quietly spill into your marriage.
• Your time together shrinks. The one-on-one connection you’d finally reclaimed starts getting squeezed out again.
• You and your spouse don’t always agree on expectations, boundaries, or how long this arrangement should last. And that creates some disconnection between the two of you.

How to Strengthen Your Pillars Through the Boomerang Season

The 6 Pillars of Intimacy® aren’t just for newlyweds or couples in crisis. They’re the framework that keeps your marriage strong through every season, including this one. Here’s what to focus on:

Emotional Intimacy: Get on the same page with your spouse before resentment builds. Ask each other: How do you feel about this arrangement? What do you need from each other right now?

Physical Intimacy: Be intentional about loving, non-sexual touch. Get out of the house for a walk-and-talk, hold hands, or lock the door for some naked cuddling.

Financial Intimacy: If your adult child is living under your roof, what are the financial expectations? Talking this through together helps you exchange conflict for clarity.

Spiritual Intimacy: Lean into your shared values as you navigate decisions about boundaries and expectations. And through it all, pray together for wisdom.

Recreational Intimacy: Protect your couple time fiercely. Your kids are grown and can take care of themselves, so take that weekend getaway. Go on that date. Don’t let a full house become an excuse to stop investing in your marriage.

Sexual Intimacy: Get creative with timing and location to keep things exciting. Don’t be afraid to invest in a sound machine or upgrade that bedroom door lock.

A Final Thought for the Boomerang Season

This season is temporary. But the habits you build (or ignore) right now will shape your marriage long after your kids find their footing again.

So don’t put your marriage on hold waiting for the nest to empty back out. Protect it now. Because your relationship is still the one at the center of this home.

Ready to stop navigating this season alone?

Inside Intimacy Mastery, you’ll find a community of couples who get it: empty nesters, boomerang parents, college nesters, and everything in between. Members get access to exclusive monthly workshops (think: a built-in date night with a purpose), bonus guides, and direct access to Tony and Alisa for personalized support.

Whatever season your marriage is in right now, there’s a place for you here. Join Intimacy Mastery today →

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