“It’s not what you do for your child, but what you have taught them to do for themselves that will make them successful human beings.—Ann Landers


Have you ever stopped and wondered about what you are learning about The 6 Pillars of Intimacy® isn’t just affecting your marriage?

As you become intentional and take action to strengthen your pillars, you’re also:

  • Changing how you parent.
  • How your kids learn about relationships.
  • Changing what their future relationships are going to look like.
  • Truly affecting everyone around you.

What you may not realize is that as your kids are growing up, they will hear you talking about relationships, how to do marriage well, red flags, the importance of sex, why dating matters, and how to talk about money.

When you do this, you can teach your kids so many things, beginning with the fact that it is OK to say what you want or need (emotional intimacy + whichever other one).

The beautiful thing about The 6 Pillars of Intimacy® is that these principles are always true and you can apply them to many situations. The 6 Pillars of Intimacy® is a framework for your marriage and as you develop your understanding of them, you can apply them to your parenting, too.

Emotional Intimacy: It’s much easier to express your thoughts and feelings as an adult if you learn to do so when you are younger. Create a safe space for your kids to share what’s going on with them. Teach them the words for their emotions. Listen to them without interrupting. Ask them questions.

Physical Intimacy: You, your spouse, and your children are wired for touch. Hug and kiss you kids, wrestle with them, cuddle with them. Be physically intimate with your spouse so that your children can see it demonstrated in their home.

Financial Intimacy: Talk about money around your kids. Talk about investments, retirement and estate plans. No, they don’t need to know the nitty gritty about your personal finances, but give them a vocabulary around money that they can take into their marriage. Show them how a husband and wife can talk about money, save together and decide on spending.

Spiritual Intimacy: Build your faith together, let them hear you praying for one another and, with one another, serve together. Yes, they can cultivate an individual relationship with God and they can learn how two become one.

Recreational Intimacy: Go out on dates, talk about how important they are to a marriage. Show your kids that fun can happen without them. Show them what it looks like for a couple to cultivate interests and spend time together.

Sexual Intimacy: Talk to your kids about sex. Be their first resource. Talk about the importance of the choices they make before marriage, the impact this has on their future marriage. Teach them the anatomically correct words for their anatomy.

Your willingness to step into the 6 Pillars of Intimacy® and their importance with your children can be life changing.

Emotional Feelings Wheel

On Becoming Babywise: Giving Your Infant the Gift of Nighttime Sleep

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