642: UNPACK YOUR BAGGAGE

“Future successes can be diminished by carrying the baggage of the past. Let go of the excess baggage.” —Reed Markham

Baggage.

Whether it’s from past relationships, from things people said to you years ago, or hurts from your marriage. Most everyone has something they are carrying around.

The truth is it sometimes feels like you’re carrying a lot of baggage around in your life.

As human beings we deal with a lot of stuff over the course of a lifetime.

Some of it we are able to dismiss and move on from and yet at times it can begin to take up a lot of real estate inside our hearts and heads. 

When our lives are filled with stuff from the past it becomes difficult to live in the present, engage with other people or be able to dream about the future.

The events of 2020 alone, may have added some additional baggage that you’ve been stuffing down.

Sometimes we think that it’s all nice and neat, perfectly folded and super compact and other times our lives look like the exploding suitcase in the airport carousel.

It doesn’t matter what it looks like. If you have baggage in your past that you have not dealt with, it may be weighing you down. Or it may be keeping you from the intimacy you desire with your spouse. 

The baggage needs to be addressed!

When you begin to unpack it this can lead to all kinds of dysfunction so what matters is how you are dealing with it. Left unresolved, it can lead to feelings of being inadequate, the development of anxiety, and more. 

Your marriage has enough being thrown at it without tripping over the baggage. Unpacking and dealing with it in terms of all 6 Pillars of Intimacy can make all the difference.

And yet…are you willing to take that step? Are you willing to unpack the baggage within a framework?

Dealing with your baggage goes beyond “letting it all out”. It means you are willing to communicate what happened (the hurt) + where you got hurt (the pillar impacted) = solution building that particular intimacy. 

If you are going to let go and leave things behind remember, you need to have a plan. If your baggage seems like more than you can manage on your own, don’t be afraid to seek out support and guidance.

495: Money and Marriage: Part 1 — Bringing Finances Together