859: Oral Sex for Your Husband

“Don’t be afraid to try new things. They aren’t all going to work but when you find the one that does you are going to be so proud of yourself for trying.” —Anonymous

If you’re feeling hesitant about doing something in the bedroom, it might be time to have a conversation.

Many wives express struggling to give oral sex to their husband. That’s been part of our story, too.

Ultimately, how you choose to approach oral sex in your marriage is up to the two of you. But in some marriages, couples find that it ends up being a more one-sided event during sexual intimacy.

When that’s the case, resentment and frustration can start to build, which is why it’s crucial to talk about it.

Keep in mind, this isn’t a struggle for all couples or all the time. But it’s a conversation you should know how to have.

Wives in the ONE Family have shared these as their biggest challenges or obstacles to giving their husband oral sex:

• Texture
• Smell
• Taste
• Sensitive gag reflex
• Not sure what feels good to him

Much of this is outside of a husband’s control. And for many men, receiving oral sex is significantly more appealing than it is for women to give it.

In fact, a 2015 Sexual Exploration in America study found that 60.5% of men find receiving oral sex very appealing, whereas only 21.3% of women feel the same way about giving it.

That’s a 39.2% difference! So it’s worth paying attention to if it’s become a point of tension in your relationship.

But how can you bridge the gap and make the experience more enjoyable for both of you? Here are a few ideas:

• Prioritize hygiene and grooming. First, talk openly about preferences when it comes to trimming, staying clean, and what makes the experience more comfortable.

• Explore comfortable positions. Trying different angles or using sex furniture like Liberator can reduce discomfort and make oral sex more enjoyable for longer periods.

• Husbands, always ask where you should finish. Having that discussion beforehand shows respect and helps her stay relaxed and present in the moment.

• Find out what makes it fun for her. Some women enjoy incorporating toys, hearing specific words of encouragement, or trying different hand and mouth combinations.

• Give encouragement. Not every woman feels confident with oral sex. Let her know when something feels good.

• Talk about what’s underneath. For some women, past sexual experiences or religious guilt can heavily influence how they approach oral sex. Don’t shy away from these deeper conversations. If you need personal help to talk about these things, consider marriage coaching.

Oral sex should be fun and enjoyable for both of you! Try using flavored lubes or edible oils to make the experience more appealing. And start small, whatever that looks like for the two of you.

Remember, this isn’t a one-time conversation. The more you stay open and connected around your sex life, the more extraordinary it can become!

Resources

Join Intimacy Mastery Today

Liberator Furniture

Sexual Exploration in America Study

Connect with Us

Join the ONE Family private Facebook group to share your story and connect with other couples who are creating extraordinary marriages. To reach us on the Hug Hotline, call or text 858-876-5663 or email hugs@oneextraordinarymarriage.com.