842: Breaking the Silence in the Bedroom
“Your voice is a unique instrument that has the power to touch hearts and move souls.” —Anonymous
Do your intimate encounters in the bedroom feel a little too… quiet?
For 92% of the ONE Family, vocalization during sex positively impacts the connection they feel with their spouse. And yet, the way you approach verbal feedback during sex can change and evolve over the years.
Your marriage is a living, growing thing. As your preferences and family situations change, your ability and desire to make sounds may change, too.
Ultimately, how you vocalize during sex depends on the two of you. Your current approach might be working well.
But if you haven’t brought up this topic in a while, you might be surprised by what you hear.
Vocalization helps your spouse know that you are fully present and enjoying yourself. It doesn’t have to be anything outrageous. But complete silence in the bedroom can limit the connection you experience during sex.
And yet, making noises to express pleasure can be challenging for some spouses.
For some spouses, it feels embarrassing, vulnerable, or awkward. You might not know what to say or what noises to make. There’s also the possibility that kids might hear that keeps people from breaking the silence during sex.
Of course, deeper issues—such as past trauma or lack of confidence—may be a factor. If internal struggles are at play, please seek help to work through the things holding you back.
For the most part, a simple question can get this conversation started: “What would make you feel more confident expressing yourself in the bedroom?”
Explore each other’s comfort levels and concerns. If you want your spouse to vocalize more in the bedroom, affirm why that’s important to you. For example, try saying, “When you express yourself, it helps me understand what brings you joy.”
Most importantly, make sure you have these conversations outside of the bedroom!
Another great place to start is by practicing being more vocal during non-sexual touch. When you share an embrace or a passionate kiss, make an effort to verbally express enjoyment.
You can start small with simple sounds of pleasure. That could be soft moans or quiet sighs. Focus first on natural responses rather than trying to force specific words or reactions. As you build confidence, you can explore new ways to break the silence in the bedroom.
Finally, make sure to create a safe space for each other. Agree that you won’t judge or tease each other for any sounds you make.
Remember, sexual intimacy isn’t just about you. And it isn’t just about your spouse. It’s about creating closeness and connection for the two of you.
Knowing how your spouse feels during your sexual experiences is important, and vocalization can be a powerful tool for accomplishing that.
Don’t expect it to look the same every time, but do work together to make this pillar of your marriage strong and beautiful!
Resources
When Harry Met Sally – I’ll Have What She’s Having
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